A Path We'll Carve
by Solariaa
Summary: Mordred loves Merlin, he also has a gift for speaking Mind-to-Mind even when he doesn't mean to. Like when he's alone, at night, thinking about the older man. Knowing what he does Merlin still can't see Mordred killing Arthur and if 'The future had many paths' well Merlin's just going going to burn down the forest till he finds one he likes. A Merdred story with some Ecouteurism
1. Casual Ecouteurism

_**Okay so first off, yes they bone, and by they I mean Merlin and Mordred. Also, yes Mordred is jerking it while he thinks about Merlin. So yeah sex happens. Moving one!**_

 _ **This took a lot to get started mostly because I kept making the story way more complex than it had to be. Even then there still more to it then there needs to be. It starts out kinda canon but everything after 5.5 changes so just a heads up. At this point I would like to put in the obligatory:**_

 ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this**_

 _ **That said! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy 3**_

* * *

The first time it happened was four days after Mordred was knighted. I had been fast asleep when an almost annoyingly familiar voice woke me sometime nearing moon rise.

" _Merlin. . . ._ " The druid's voice was soft, barely whispering in my mind.

I ignored him.

" _Merlin,_ " I was fully awake now and had no intention of speaking to the druid. So I ignored him.

" _Merlin,_ "

Grinding my teeth I refused to answer.

" _Merlin,_ " It was then that I noticed the almost breathy tone of Mordred's words.

Then it hit me.

" _Merlin,_ "

Mordred wasn't actually _trying_ to talk to me! The boy after all had always had a gift for speaking mind-to-mind. Besides, Mordred wouldn't waste a chance to call me Emrys, no matter how often I asked to be called 'Merlin' he refused to do so in private so why start now?

I could only come up with one reason.

" _Merlin,_ " Came the half moaned voice of Arthur's future killer.

Even alone, and innocently laying in bed, not doing anything I felt my face flush with embarrassment. Cursing the druid boy I rolled over and thought about stuffing my head under my pillow. Not that a pillow would actually help, so I didn't. I just did my best to fall back asleep, ignore Mordred as he continued to call my name, and try even harder to ignore the twitching feeling in my lower half.

This could become a bit of a mess.

* * *

The next day -while I was five minutes away from needing a stick with which to beat away my own embarrassment- Mordred acted as if nothing had happened. He acted as if he hadn't spent at least 30 minutes repeating my name until I almost wished he go back to calling me Emrys.

 _That was a disturbing thought._

Still Mordred smiled innocently, laughed politely, and just generally went about his day as normally as ever.

We only spoke once, down by the training field. The day was warm, the sun high in a cloudless sky as knights in full chainmail stomped about in the dirt beating each other senseless with blunted training swords. During a break Mordred came up to me making pointless small talk. It was only because I watched him so closely that I noticed his already flushed cheeks darken a few shades redder. Even as I tried to argue all the possible reasons why only one made sense.

"At this rate you'll be the best swordsman in Camelot within a fortnight," I told Mordred trying to sound like I wasn't waiting for him to betray Arthur.

From the slight reddening of Mordred cheeks I must have gotten the tone right.

"HEY!" We both ignored Gwaine who was pulling a face of mock hurt.

The druid looked away, "You are too kind," He was almost mumbling and it was almost cute. You know, if the boy **hadn't** been destined to kill Arthur.

"I'll have you both know that _I'm_ the best swordsman in Camelot," Gwaine cut in, he'd been leaning on the fence a few feet from us.

"I'll believe that Gwaine, when I actually see you sword fight over something other than ale." I said giving Gwaine a brilliant smile.

The other man just laughed and took another drink from his water skin and started joking about 'This one time', it was always a story with Gwaine. He told good stories too. This one was cut short though when Arthur came to drag his knight back to training.

* * *

That night Mordred was calling my name again. Sounding quite happy actually and I caught myself thinking of what I could do tomorrow to hear this voice again.

I had to stuff my head under the pillow then.

It was a very strange moment, going over every warning and vision I'd ever been given about Mordred, while the druid was mentally moaning my name. Confusing would be an understatement.

* * *

 ** _As I have a few thousand words started on this I'm hoping to keep up a steady post for a while, I don't quite know how long this will be yet but knowing my style, longer than I wanted to be._**

 ** _Anyways, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	2. Favor of the Week: Embarrassment

_**Another short chapter, don't know how long they'll stay short but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

Once again Mordred gave no hint as to just what the boy did alone in his room in the dark of night. Even looking for any hint, any tip as to _why_ Mordred would think about _me_ in such a way. I was hard pressed to see it. Since we'd met again in Ismere I'd made no effort to hide my distrust of Mordred and yet here the boy was. I could only assume that he didn't realize he was reaching out to me as he did. . . . whatever it was that he was doing.

Before I knew it almost a fortnight had passed.

The knights trained, Arthur went on hunts and patrols -both of which he dragged me on as well- the ghost of Uther was released upon the castle, oh and then there was that whole mess with King Rodor, Princess Mithian, Morgana, and Morgana's newest ally. So really it was all ' _Just Another Day_ ' in Camelot. Did I mention how much I hate job? Because I do. I really do.

Through out all of that Mordred never tried to get any closer to me but his near nightly actives spoke volumes. It probably didn't help that I watched him like hawk for any sign of pending betrayal or hints of an alliance with Morgana.

It was late, near the witching hour or later, when Mordred once again woke me up. If he'd been near enough I might have gotten up just to punch the kid. Really I mean sure Mordred was what, 17? 18? Still this was almost every night now. It was _late_ , I'd just gotten back with Arthur and the knights from all the trouble with Mithian, I just wanted to sleep.

And here Mordred is going " _Merlin, Merlin,_ oh Mer _lin,_ " The boy was getting surprisingly vocal tonight it was almost as endearing as it was annoying.

Sure I'd taken the time to _enjoy_ it now and then, after all if Mordred was going to keep me up what else could I do? But tonight really wasn't a good time. It was _late_ , I was _tired_ , and Mordred was being bloody loud this time!

So for once I _didn't_ ignore him.

" _Yes Mordred?_ " I asked in my mind.

He didn't make a peep for a about a week.

* * *

The morning after I had mentally spoken to Mordred in the night was awkward for us both. Mostly because of Mordred. I was planing to do like always: Ignore it and pretend it had never happened.

Mordred didn't seem to be on the same page as he couldn't look at me without blushing and the one time he _did_ look me in the eyes had the poor boy making an almost strangled sound before he ran away. I thanked every god I'd ever hear about that we'd been alone. The last thing I wanted was whatever kind of teasing any of the knights would come up with for _that_ one.

Especially Gwaine.

 _Especially Arthur_.

* * *

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	3. Just Can't Ignore

_**Lets start this off with the O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

It couldn't last though; the quiet, lonely, uninterrupted nights of almost restful sleep. Of course it wouldn't last. Mordred must like me. That or he hates me and this is some new form of sleep depriving torture. Though I Try not to overthink the 'why' of what it seemed Mordred doing at night well we all know I overthought it at least 50 different time a day.

" _Merlin,_ " Came the druid's mental calling.

Disgusted with myself I realized I'd actually come to miss this. I also realized that I'd admit - _to Uther_ \- that I'd been using magic for years before I'd admit to _any_ of this. Whatever the hell _this_ was. God life was just getting more and more confusing the more Mordred became involved. Somehow though I wasn't sure I wanted my life 'uncomplicated' if it meant Mordred not being in it. That was a whole other mess best left for morning though that I happily ignored in favor of listening to Mordred.

" _Merlin,_ " The sound was tempting and arousing and I was already mostly hard. It wasn't that unusual, after all Mordred _was_ attractive, what with his thick, fluffy, dark hair, pale blue eyes, strong jaw line. The boy even had an innocent about him when he was anything but. Trust me I should know by now. It was a large plus to know he at least found me attractive too. A very large very arousing plus.

I reached down to my own hard aching cock.

" _Merlin,_ "

Now I couldn't remember the first time I'd . . . . what? _Joined in_? I guess that's what I was doing after all. Mentally connected by the sound of Mordred's voice as he repeated my name, thinking about me, as -I can only assume- touched himself as well.

" _Merlin,_ "

Grinding my teeth I did my best not to think in actual words or at least not direct any words to Mordred. If he found out about this I didn't know what I'd do. After all, masturbation aside Mordred was still prophesied to kill the King.

" _Merlin,_ " God Mordred's voice was sexy.

I pushed aside any and all thoughts beyond how hot Mordred and how sexy his voice was as I just tried to enjoy myself. I was a little ashamed by how easy it was.

* * *

The next day I was tense watching the knights train, particularly when Arthur and Mordred fought. Mostly because Mordred was close to winning. I was at war with myself, Mordred was nice, sweet even, a great swordsman, calm, modest, polite, overall Mordred was a very likable boy. That was the problem though, I liked Mordred. Still, how could I ignore prophecy? Every time I ignored the great dragon something awful happened. Then again almost every time I listened to the dragon things seemed to turn out in a mess anyways.

Maybe it was me? Maybe I was just as clumsy with destiny and prophecy as I was on my own to feet. It would seem to explain a lot.

The rest of the day I did my work, parroted every good thing about Mordred I'd argued to myself, I ignored Mordred, I felt wooden. Everything I'd done or said I'd done a hunder time before or I'd gone over with myself.

Yes Mordred was a fine knight, yes he was ready, he was a likable boy. Sure Mordred was nothing but kind and loyal to the King and yes Mordred had had plenty of chances to do Arthur harm but didn't. Yes it would seem Mordred was almost as perfect a knight as Lancelot.

Wait stop, don't think about Lance. That's another mess best avoided.

"I can't ignore what I saw Gaius," somehow I always seemed to loop back to this.

I was helping clean up, I'd just finished with herbs and was now putting books and what not away. Just a little thankful I didn't have to look right at Gaius in the eyes. The old man knew too much and could pick up what he didn't from just looking at a person.

"Mordred is destined to play a part in Arthur's death."

"Perhaps, perhaps not, the future has many paths, that is only one. Have you even seen him show anything but kindness towards Arthur?" I glossed over the rest of Gaius' argument, I'd told myself much the same stuff anyways. "He's a likable boy Merlin."

"I like him myself," I readily admitted. "But I can't ignore what I saw." And therein lie the problem didn't it?

I _couldn't_ ignore what I saw. I just couldn't.

* * *

 ** _So before we call this a day, 1) next post will be monday, then one on either wed, fri, or both. 2) A quick thank you to everyone who reads, folloows and favs. 3) And another thank you to_** mersan123 **_for the review; You_** ** _should feel for Mordred because his day is only going to get even more embarssing before it gets any better._**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	4. Why Did I Open My Big Mouth?

_**The short before a storm or How to really embarrass a druid, but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

Then Arthur had to run off after some stupid sorcerer and he was going to get himself killed if he didn't take the Disir seriously. First that stupid prat ignored everything I said, even when I hinted that the sorcerer could have easily killed him. Of course Arthur glossed right over that.

Then the rune mark.

Arthur ignored me then he brushed off Gaius and his warnings to take the rune mark seriously! It was starting to look like I served one of the _stupidest_ Kings ever.

It had been a very long day and I just wanted to go to sleep so when I ran into Mordred on my way to the chambers I shared with Gaius I stopped the boy.

"Mordred," I called as he walked pass.

It was obvious that I'd surprised him, Mordred stopped so quickly I was half expecting him to trip; I would have.

Mordred glanced up and down the castle hall, the pale stone walls left very little in the way of hiding places, it was save to say that we were alone. "Emrys," his greeting was quiet, soft, and much too respectful for a simple servant. "What can I do for you?"

Well now I was feeling awkward. "Just, make sure you get some _rest_ ," I told him, patting Mordred on the shoulder. Trying to hint at something but not actually wanting Mordred to know that I knew what he did at night. "Probably best to go right to sleep tonight."

God why did I open my big mouth.

Mordred's reaction though was funny as all hell. Suddenly the druid was bright red, he couldn't look at me, and Mordred was inching along as if he couldn't leave fast enough.

"It's been quite a trip and if I'm right we'll be leaving again soon."

Opening his mouth slightly Mordred snapped it shut again, nodded and all but ran from me. I on the other hand realized I really needed to talk to Kilgharrah. After Mordred left I turned and made to sneak out of the castle, time to call on a dragon before bed.

I was really starting to feel like I'd only get a good night's sleep after I died.

* * *

 ** _Look at me, keeping up with planned updates. Yeah okay this one is short, but with the next three chapters weighing in at 1,400, 1,500, and 2,400+ words don't worry to much. Plus, there will be posts on Wednesday and Friday._**

 ** _Now, the reviews! (I'm lazy and it's easy to address these quickly right here and I don't clog reviews with my own replies)_** Mersan123 ** _Thanks again for the review, Yeah I'm just giving Merlin bigger and bigger messes to deal with aren't I? XD As for Mordred, I find the biggest problem is with how likable the boy was as a knight! Seriously, how can Merlin hate the poor boy so much, like we all keep saying: He's a likable boy! Once again, Thank you to everyone who reads, favsorites, and follows this story, who guys make me so happy!_**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	5. Decisions

_**And now for something longer, this is also the point where canon mostly goes flying out the window via**_ ** _trebuchet_** _ **but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

My little chat with Kilgharrah had the opposite effect I'd been hoping for. Although I didn't exactly know _what_ I'd been hoping for. First he says there are many paths, that Arthur and Mordred's fates are bound, and then that whole bit about cutting the ivy.

But if there are many paths couldn't one lead to a future where the _three_ of use -Arthur, Mordred, and I (Merlin)- could work _together_ to bring back magic?

"Ugh," I growled to myself rolling over to get what little sleep I could after having met with the dragon.

I had just rolled over and closed my eyes when I was loudly -and rudely- awoken by someone, most likely Arthur, knocking on the door. I really would have to die to get a good night's sleep at this rate.

* * *

Since Mordred became a knight things, for me at least, had become confusing. It looked like that wasn't going to change anytime soon as here was Arthur, Arthur Pendragon, King I'm-A-Part-Arthur Pendragon of Magic-Is-Evil Camelot. Arthur was asking me what I thought about all of this. Arthur was asking _me_ if Camelot was ready for _magic_.

I wanted to say _yes;_ I wanted it **so _badly_**. But it wasn't that simple. The question was more than just magic or no magic. There was Mordred too. Mordred's life hung in the balance and the wrong answer would mean his death.

It didn't surprise me as much as it should have to realize I couldn't wish for Mordred's death. Not honestly, not like I should - _if you believed Kilgharrah._

I liked the boy after all and that was problem after all.

Some small part of me liked Mordred and yet it seemed as if he were meant to bring about the death of Arthur.

But is was the Dragon that had said ' _There are many paths._ ' Even Gaius had said ' _The future has many paths_.' But damn it! How could I know what one was right? What path did Arthur and I walk now? What fork would take us down the right path? How could I know? How could I figure it out?

Keeping my eyes trained on the fire I turned over all Arthur had said.

"You must protect Camelot and you must protect the world you have spent your life building." I said telling myself more than Arthur. Camelot; that was the end goal here wasn't? Protect Arthur to protect Camelot. I couldn't do that if Mordred lived only to kill Arthur down the road but still, I couldn't kill Mordred. "A just a fair kingdom, _for all_." I added, not sure if that ' _for all_ ' included people with magic but I wanted too.

"You'd have me sacrifice a friend." It wasn't a question.

" _No,"_ was my first thought. "I would have you become the King you are destined to be." I was really just avoiding giving Arthur an outright answer at this point because I didn't have an answer.

It would be _easy_ to just let Mordred die, but, as I watched the fire it wasn't that simple. If Arthur refused magic Mordred would surely have to kill him, thus Mordred couldn't die. If Arthur did bring back magic Mordred was no longer needed, he could die, but then Arthur would consider it a betrayal and perhaps his heart would only harden against magic even more.

Watching the fire I could almost see future after future playing out Mordred dies, Arthur hates magic, Failure. Mordred lives, he kills Arthur, Failure. Arthur holds the Disir at sword points and demands they save Mordred, the Disir kill Arthur, Failure. I revile my magic to Arthur and show that not all magic is as evil as he thinks, Arthur kills me, Failure.

Arthur sits up, looking almost annoyed, how long was I thinking? "If I do save Mordred all my father's work will me for nothing, sorcerery will reign once more in Camelot. Is that what you want?"

I almost said that ' _Yes I want magic back but I want you to reign not sorcery_ '. But then it starts dawning, sorcery doesn't have to rule, Arthur just needs to stop killing everyone with magic and read a book or two.

"Perhaps my father was wrong, perhaps the old ways aren't as evil as we thought. So what should we do? Should we-"

"-Compromise." I cut Arthur off.

His eyebrows rise, he looks almost as surprised as he does confused.

"Stop killing everyone with magic, write new laws that will control what can and can't be done with magic. Tell them that if they want you to learn the old religion you already have a teacher." I explain, the more I say the better it sounds. Maybe I can do this, maybe I can help shape a Camelot where magic is allowed and no one has to die. Well maybe Morgana, but only because she's so far gone.

"And who's going to teach me Merlin? You?" Ahh Arthur ever the prat.

"No Arthur, Mordred. He's a druid after all, I'm sure he knows more about it than anyone else in Camelot, who better to teach the King than his own knight."

Arthur actually thinks about it, seriously thinks about it. "I can't. . . . that's actually. . . .That's not a half bad idea."

"You could sound a little less surprised you know."

The great stupid blond prat just smiled as he stood. "Come on then, the sooner we talk to the Disir the sooner we can get home and I can add some lessons to the royal schedule." Arthur actually sounded happy about that, but I knew he wouldn't be once we actually got back and it was time to take those lessons and rewrite all those old laws.

Once more Arthur left his sword outside, once more we walked carefully through the cave and one more he greeted the Disir with respect.

"I have come to a decision," The King began, his voice taking on that 'Royal Tone' he used when taking part in serious king business. "I can not allow magic to run free and unchecked through Camelot-"

The Disir were already hissing ready to condemn the King but Arthur just raised his hand calmly.

"-But," He cut them off, waiting till the three calmed as well. It was impressive how polite Arthur was but then again, he was King for a reason. "But I am will to make some much needed changes. It will take time, laws will have to rewritten and new laws made. I will no longer consider magic in and of itself a crime but the use of magic for evil _will_ have to be punished like any other crime. While I am willing to make the changes to allow magic I will not let it run free as it has in the past."

"And the old religion?" The foremost of the Disir spoke, so far the women were nodding seemingly pleased with Arthur and his plans.

"If you save Mordred I will have a teacher to help me. The man was first a druid before a he became a knight. With his help I will learn of the old religion and your goddess."

More nodding. "It is done then Arthur Pendragon, the Goddess has heard you and if you truly mean all you have said then you will find her answer when you return."

Formal goodbyes were given then and we left.

I still didn't know if I should be happy or not when we returned to find Mordred had in fact woken. According to Gaius Mordred just woke up, perfectly fine if a little confused as the last the druid could recall we'd been in the cave.

Although, when Arthur explained Mordred's new duties as teacher of religion to a king, I decided on happy. How could I not, when looking at Mordred's bright, excited face. This all by no means meant I was about to reveal my magic to Arthur but it surely felt like a step in the right direction.

* * *

 ** _I almost feel like I could end this here, good thing I still want to write more! XD Like how will the Knights and council take to the changes? How close are Merlin and Mordred going to get? Anyways, next updates are planned for Firday and Monday._**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	6. Knights and Politics

**_Okay this isn't late it's still friday! Moving on, today is politics but hey: Obligatory Disclaimer: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this_**

 ** _Now that that's all said and done! Let's move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!_**

* * *

I don't know what I expected, maybe a bath, some actual sleep. But no, this was Arthur, the man didn't really do breaks, he just did.

So here we are, riding up to Camelot having spent days on the road, a full night just talking over the choice Arthur had been given, and that great royal prat was calling a meeting of his all his knights. Even Arthur looked half as tired as I felt and the man is yelling out orders, greeting Gwen and Mordred, and telling me to get a bath going.

'Maybe I should let Mordred kill him' I thought venomously.

Still within an hour the King and all his knights sat at the round table in the council chamber, even Mordred and I were there though I stood behind the king.

"Emrys?" Mordred asked, he still looked a little worse for wear, but the druid had proven himself sturdy. I would also be willing to bet that as the youngest knight Mordred really didn't want to lose face. "What happened with the Disir?"

"So nosy," I must admit that came out ruder than I'd meant it too. Especially since Mordred's cheeks flushed and his jaw clenched. "I can't take all of our King's thunder, but I do think you'll like this."

Mordred didn't exactly flinch, it was more of a twitch I'd say.

Either way, most of the knights were here now, the last few just arriving. The King was seated already, waiting for his knights to settle. Even not knowing what would be said the whole atmosphere seemed awfully relaxed considering Arthur was about to explain that knight couldn't go around chopping every magic user to bits anymore.

"What? Why?" Came the almost excited reply from Mordred.

I had to purse my lips to keep from smiling, who knew calm collected Mordred could be such an excited little boy. "Can't you wait, Arthur's going to explain it all soon enough."

If I didn't spend so much time watch Mordred I'd almost think him calm, but to me the boy almost looked like he was bouncing in his seat. It was much too easy to like him now that I come up with the idea to make him Arthur's biggest ally in returning magic to Camelot.

That is what Mordred had always wanted right? The return of magic.

If this worked out the way I'd hoped it would then there would never be any reason for Mordred to kill Arthur. If this worked out we three would have to work to together. If this worked Mordred and I could be friends, maybe even more than friends.

"Emrys!" Begged the druid.

Hiding my laugh in a cough and my smile in a fist earned me a dirty look from Arthur. "Sorry,"

"See that? You're going to get me in trouble!"

At least a man like Mordred had the decency to look slightly shamed.

"I'm sorry Emrys,"

"Not as sorry as you're about to be,"

Raised eyebrows, "I thought you said I'd like this,"

"Well you'll like part of it," I began to explain as Arthur called for all the knights to sit down at last.

It was suddenly very quiet, apparently Mordred wasn't the only knight burning with curiosity. Arthur still gave a moment for a very dramatic pause.

"I have been to the Disir, spoken with them, and heard what they have to say." There was a slight murmur at that, most if not all of the knights had heard what happened when Mordred was hurt by now. "I have long said that Camelot is meant to be a fair and just kingdom for all, I have meant it. Though it saddens me to admit this: I failed in that. Camelot had not become a fair and just kingdom for all. It is fair and just for most but not all, and I would see that change."

Pause for more hushed whispers.

"I know this will mean changes, changes that not all of you will agree with. That is why I tell you, my knights, first. If Camelot is to change for the better I will need all of your help." Arthur spoke loud and clear meeting the eyes of each of his knights.

"What would you have of us?" Leon asked as one of the most senior and well respected of Arthur's knights.

With a deep breath Arthur spoke, his tone left no room for argument. "I will remove the ban on magic."

The reaction was explosive.

Everything from excitement to rage to confusion, Mordred himself looked as if this were too good to be true.

"Is he-?"

I cut him off. "Yes, magic will soon no longer be outlawed."

"Why?"

"It was the price, for you life." Understandably Mordred looked confused. "To save you Arthur had to agree to welcome magic back into Camelot." I explained.

"But-"

"-Shhhh, Arthur will explain, and we can alway talk more later."

Arthur on the other hand was shouting one of his younger knights -brash. bold, foolish young man, filled to the brim with dreams called Erikson- down. "I am the King!" Arthur was yelling at the younger man.

Both were standing and several argument had broken out around the table.

"You are a fool! Magic is evil Pure Evil!" Erikson was shouting back from across the table.

Well this was officially a bigger mess than I'd ever expected.

Gwaine stood up and laid Erikson out for that with a single punch. Then around the table knights were fighting. You'd thinks knights would talk like civilized men. Maybe they needed more lessons on manner and less on fighting?

Arthur sent me a 'Get Gwen' look before he joined in pulling a knight off Leon only to get elbowed in the face. Yup, this was a much bigger mess than I'd expected.

"Watch Arthur's back!" I demanded as I slipped quickly from the chamber.

I had only to run down a hall and round a corner before I almost tripped over the Queen. Thank god she's always wanted to be involved in ruling.

"MERLIN! I heard shouting," Gwen was trying to look down the hall behind me. It was shamefully easy to hear the fighting. "What happened? Is Arthur okay?"

I bowed deeply, "If my Queen would follow me, The King would like your help to restore order."

With a very commanding air the Queen strode right past me. She slammed the chamber doors open loudly enough that everyone looked up at her. Gwaine dropped Erikson who he'd been holding in a headlock. Arthur and Mordred were standing by Leon, who held his bleeding face and leaned on the table, Eylan shove away an older knight who'd been hold him by his hair. All around the room men dropped each other and shoved back from one another. Most of them looking like shamed children caught misbehaving by their mother.

Try as I might I couldn't keep the amused look from my face.

The Queen looked over the knights and her husband with the air of a true born noble, and just the slightest hint of surprise. "Funny, I thought I had heard fighting children but all I see is grown men."

Those that hadn't look ashamed before surely did now.

"My King?" Gwen asked giving Arthur a very pointed look.

Quickly the King jumped to his Queen's command and pulled out a seat for her.

"Thank you," Gwen said sinking gracefully into the seat. "And what matter were you discussing?"

When no one answered her I did. "Magic my Queen," at her raised brow I elaborated. "King Arthur means to lift the ban and put in new laws, ones that will allow for the practice of magic so long as one does so lawfully and for the good of Camelot." I made sure to speak loudly enough that all could hear.

"Why that sounds like a fine idea to me, what was all the arguing about then?"

"Some of the knights feel magic is evil My Queen," It would seem Arthur finally found his voice. "But as I have always said Camelot is meant to be fair and just for all, I mean to make good on my word."

After the Queen's arrival things settled quite a bit. It seemed having the Queen around kept most knights in line. Sure she wasn't of noble birth but all of the knights loved their Queen very dearly. Things went smoothly after that, in the end all but five knights including Erikson swore to help the King bring magic back to the land.

Those five that didn't asked to be dismissed privately.

Though it obviously pained Arthur that some of his knights would rather go back on their oaths then stay they were released from his service.

* * *

 _ **Thank you so much for reading, for following, for all of your support! I hope you like the way this is going, I ways had a big problem with the Disir episode. So mersan123, thanks again for the review, as for 'managing to save Mordred' and all that, like I said, problems with the Disir episode. I felt like lot could have been avoided just by compromise. As for destiny, we'll just have to keep going to find out!**_

 _ **Now, as it is I plan to update again Monday and Friday, if I get more writing done on the weekend we may have another Wednesday update. Keep in mind though, I only do Wednesdays when I can, also Sundays are for D'n'D so they're kind of a write off. But I will have more for Monday so that's awesome!**_

 _ **Well that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention.**_


	7. Dinner For Two (NSFW)

_**Get ready for almost 3000 words of softcore porn! Are we moving fast? NO IDEA! We're what? 5000? 5500 words in and now it's dicks. But hey: Obligatory Disclaimer: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Let's move on to the feature presentation, enjoy**_!

* * *

I _really_ couldn't believe myself. Honestly, what was wrong with me? Still, I walked through the castle easily making my way from my chambers -s _hared with Gaius_ \- to Mordred's chambers. After the meeting Mordred kept asking me all sorts of questions for hours. It was difficult answering him mentally and Arthur verbally so I'd ended up promising to explain the whole thing over dinner. Thus I ended up here knocking on the door to Mordred's chambers, where I would soon be sitting at a table, across from the man destined to kill Arthur as I explained how we came to give the Disir an answer that would hopefully save Mordred and keep the Kingdom from tearing itself apart.

Flinging the door open with almost festive glee was Mordred. I caught the split second look of pure delight before the boy schooled his face to much more socially appropriate level of happiness.

"Come in Merlin,"

Following Mordred to the table I was much more excited about good food than I should have been.

Between eating and explain all the had happened with the Disir I looked around the room. It was as simple as Lancelot's had been, and much cleaner that Gwaine's had ever been. Mordred had a bed - _at least twice the size of mine_ \- a half empty bookshelf - _with more pine cones and plants than books_ -, a chest of drawers, an armor and weapon rack stuffed into the far corner, and cupboard next to a small iron stove under the window - _which was shuttered and locked_.

"So it was your idea?" Mordred asked softly sounding amazed.

Most of dinner had been finished off ages ago though I kept picking at scarps as I spoke, and finally the tale had wound down to Mordred's newest job as teacher of the old religion to the King.

"You don't have to sound so surprised," I frowned as the druid, who blushed.

"I'm sorry it's just. . . . " Mordred trailed off looking shamed. "I thought you hated me, I didn't think you'd talk to the King and well. . . ."

There he was again, being all cute and likable. "I don't _hate_ you," I confessed, hating myself for the way my body reacted when Mordred looked up at me through his impossibly long eyelashes. Seriously what sort of man had lashes like that? Sighing more to myself I had to look away. "I didn't _trust,_ I'm still not sure if I do trust you actually."

"Wha-why not?" Came Mordred indigent demand as he slammed his hands on the small table.

Giving the druid a look I tried to consider just how much to tell him. But I soon had to look away, without really looking my eyes scanned the almost military room, the only stuff that caught my eye was armor and cloak. I focused on the cloak, Camelot red and gold, part of me wanted to tell him all of it. Here was someone that knew of my magic like Lancelot had, it had been quite some time since I talked as openly with someone as I had with Lancelot.

Still though, there was that slight chance that Mordred was still on a path that meant he would one day kill Arthur. That in mind I held myself back.

"Are you really questioning the Great Emrys?" I asked only half joking.

For a moment Mordred looked worried then he looked at me and I knew he could tell I was joking when he smiled. "I thought you were ' _Just Merlin_ ',"

Shrugging I just took another bite, picking at more scraps. Silence fell between, I was wondering if Mordred had left the top of his shirt undone on purpose. After all I could see down his shirt every time the boy leaned forward.

The silence didn't last much longer when Mordred, looking very embarrassed, opened his mouth again. "I've been meaning. . . ."

Please don't bring up what I think you're about to bring up I silently begged trying to swallow the food in my mouth before Mordred said something that made me choke.

"I was wondering if you maybe. . . ."

Gods the poor boy was so red in the face he looked about ready to catch fire.

"-Yes I heard," It was surprisingly easy to take pity on young Mordred when he looked that mortified. "If I'm right the first time was four days after you were knighted."

It was almost cute watching the normally collected Mordred looking so very embarrassed. Glancing at his lips I badly wanted to know what my name would sound like spilling from them out loud and I _hated_ myself for the thought.

Sure, the future has many paths but what one were we one? Was Mordred still destined to kill Arthur or had I managed to change that with the Disir? The boy was amazing at confusing matters just by existing.

" _Don't look so embarrassed,_ " I spoke mind-to-mind when I couldn't bring myself to say the words. " _It was. . . . Quite arousing._ " I told him unable to stop myself.

Mordred looked at me from under his lashes again but there was a certain type of heat to his gaze a look that made me lick my lips while watching Mordred bite his. I could feel my dick growing hard as my pant became uncomfortable tight.

" _Are you just playing with me Emrys?_ "

Biting back a joke about still having clothes on, then another joke about planning to actually play with him later I settled on asking " _Is that what want then? For me to play with you?_ "

For a whole second Mordred looked to be considering something then with a clatter of plates he threw himself across the top of the table to connect our lips. I didn't even think about it I just kissed him back.

" _This is wrong_ ," I told him.

" _Emrys_ ,"

" _How old are you? 17? 18? God I've got about eight years on you_!"

Mordred let out a soft growl that turned me on more than it should have. " _Emrys._ "

" _We should stop,_ " I told him as I tangled my figures in his hair.

I could feel the little shit smile against my lips.

" _Emrys,_ " He moaned my name that time.

" _This is still so wrong,_ "

" _Emrys, I'm 19, almost 20._ "

It took me a longer than it should have to figure out the math " _Fine six years older_ ," I informed Mordred as I tilted my head, dropping one hand to the back of his neck. After all 19 was whole worlds better 17, it was still a six year difference but 19 years old was acceptable.

" _Has anyone ever told you that you think to much?_ "

I couldn't help laughing at that, " _I dare you to tell Arthur that_."

Mordred pulled his lips from mine then. "You know, it's very hard to kiss you when you keep worrying like that."

" _Get used to it_ ," I grumbled pulling Mordred's lips back to mine. Everything about Mordred made me like him more, and everything I liked about him made me hate myself because I still wasn't sure if I could trust him. And all of this made for a very confusing mess but then again what part of my life wasn't a confusing mess these days? Besides, kissing Mordred was amazing.

" _Emrys,_ "

" _I swear if you call me Emrys once more I'll never kiss you again_." I threatened even though I had no intention of stopping anytime soon whether Mordred called me Emrys or anything else for that matter.

"Merlin," The druid breathed against my lips.

That turned me on a lot more than it should have, I had to remind myself of the six year difference in age. Not that it helped much.

With a low growl I nipped at his lips and deepened the kiss, slipping my tongue into Mordred's mouth I had to pull back after a moment though. Mordred was gasping as if he'd forgotten how breathing worked. Something told me he had forgotten about breathing.

It was painfully cute how innocent he seemed in that moment. How could he kill a King when the boy couldn't even remember to _breath_ while snogging?

" _Come on,_ " I dragged Mordred from his seat to the good sized bed and even made him sit on my lap. He didn't seem to mind at all as he kissed every bit of my face that he could reach. I could feel magic buzzing, every kiss was like sparks between us and I couldn't tell who was doing it. Probably both, or maybe just me.

Cheeks, " _Merlin._ "

Nose, " _Merlin._ "

Jaw, " _Merlin._ "

" _You know I've got six years on you right?_ " I tucked my face into the crook where his neck met his shoulder breathing deeply. The boy smelt of sweat, chainmail, and the forest.

" _Closer to five years,_ " He kissed my ears. " _And either way, I don't care._ "

More sparks.

" _You'll have to teach Arthur because of me._ "

" _Good._ "

I laughed at that and felt Mordred smile as he kissed my neck.

" _I don't share well with other._ " I tried hands grabbing Mordred's hips.

" _Neither do I_ ," He kissed down my neck, hands fighting with the knot of my neckerchief.

I groaned my hands flexing where I held the druid vaguely awe of how the candles were starts to dance crazily and how sparks of magic began filling the air.

" _You should stop,_ " I warned him, grinding my hips up against his without thinking.

" _Don't want to,_ "

" _Cheek little shit,_ " I bit down lightly on his collar bone then.

"Merlin," he was moaning my name out loud.

I really should leave before _something_ happened. And by _something_ I mean _sex_ ; I mean me fucking Mordred until the poor knight wouldn't be able to stand up the next morning when he had training.

" _Again,_ " Instead I was almost begging him to do it again as my lips and teeth went on a quest for the druid's tattoo that I _knew_ was somewhere on his chest.

"Merlin, Merlin, _Merlin,_ " That last 'Merlin' filled both my ears and mind. Mordred ground his hips roughly against mine, he wrapped his arms around me, his fingernails digging at my back and shoulders.

Placing a hand on the small of his back the other reached between us to palm Mordred's covered cock. Gods how was this boy so beautiful? Eye's half lidded with lust, his fluffy dark hair a mess, cheeks and chest equally flushed, just looking at him was making me harder than it should. I bucked my hips up against his, Mordred's shirt had fallen open in such a way I could now easily find the tattoo I so wanted to kiss and nip.

So I leaned up and lightly dragged my teeth over the coloured flesh leaving a trail of magical sparks in my wake.

"Merlin!"

" _Should I stop? You sound like you're having a hard time breathing._ "

" _Checky older shit,_ " The druid was panting breathlessly. " _If you stop I'm going to flip and table._ "

I laughed against his flesh. " _Don't know, feels like you might anyways_."

The boy sagged sighing against my neck, "Merlin," He spoke right into my ear and my cock twitched in my breeches. "Merlin, _please._ "

With just a flash of gold I had both of our pants falling undone, the hand on Mordred's back took better hold of the boy as the hand between us took both our cocks in hand. I butted my head against his chest when he tried to curl into me.

" _Let me see you,_ "

He obliged me, a pair of strong hands gripped my shoulders tight enough to bruise as Mordred thrust into my hand. His pale blue eyes had gotten the most beautiful ring of golded colour around the outside, I'd bet mine had too. Around us the air was full of magic, sparks and colours dancing in the air, candles burned brighter than they should, the flames taking on the shape of joining bodies, the bed, table, even the wardrobe and stove shuddered and shook as if wanting to fly.

I ignored it all though, opting to nuzzling Mordred's jaw I enjoyed the strange mix of chainmail with forest that was Mordred.

"Merlin, Merlin, _Merlin_ ," His voice was even better in person. With practiced movements I worked our cocks together, the pad of my thumb dragging over the head of Mordred's dripping dick.

" _Mordred,_ " I begged biting down on his tattoo. Such a cute boy, he came in my hand. The small strangled moans that spilled from Mordred's lips were all I needed to cum to.

My handed continued without need of my brain, which was good, as my brain was hung up on Mordred at the moment. It was dizzying to notice that we'd fallen back on the bed and that Mordred had fallen on top of me, I didn't mind though, kind of liked it actually. Maybe one day he could ride me.

I quickly and violently shut that line of thinking down.

Mordred was a _boy_. He was 19, I was 25, he was a druid and I was _Emrys_. There was so much wrong with this. I was taking advantage of him! God Arthur was going to _kill_ me, and when he found out that I was Emrys Arthur would kill me at _least_ three more times.

Then Mordred rolled off me to lay at my side, his head on my shoulder, tilled just enough to kiss my skin, he tangling our fingers together with one hand while his free hand traced the veins under my skin. Then he looked up at me with those stupidly long lashes and smiled as if this moment was the best moment of his life.

I hand to cover my eyes with my free arm because I _really_ didn't want to let go of his hand.

I let out a sigh that sounded an awful lot like "Fuck," and Mordred stiffened. Of course he was afraid that I'd regret this, call it a mistake - _which is was_ \- say we never should have done it - _we really shouldn't have_ \- and say it was never going to happen again - _it should_.

What I did say though was: "I'm in love with you." Out loud, with words, that other people could _hear_.

Which was just me making a bigger mess but it was also at least 82% true.

I didn't have to look at Mordred to know he was at least 28 times happier now than he had been five minutes ago, I could just feel in the way the boy kissed my shoulder.

* * *

 _ **Thank you for reading, a few notes: one Mordred is supposed to be around 10 during season one, because of time skips between season it has been 9 years from season one to season five. This means that Mordred would be 19. Merlin on the other hand a lot looser, we do have a hint for Merlin's age thanks to Kilgharrah's opening narration which changed from "young boy" in season 3 to "young man" in season 4, this means the between those season he would have likely turned 21 if we go under the assumption that 21 is the age at which a boy becomes a man. This means with time skips he would be 25 at the youngest to 27, I'm going with 25. Making Merlin 6 years older than Mordred. Not a lot but enough to make Merlin uncomfortable with the age difference.**_

 _ **Moving on to age of consent: where I live you can consent to have sex at 18, for the purpose of this story I'm going to say it's the same here. Historically the age would have been closer to 15, but BBC tried to keep it more modern in some respects so I'm going to do the same.**_

 _ **TLDR: Merlin is 25, Mordred is 19, age of consent is 18.**_

 _ **I based the ages off of posts from:**_ mordredmerlinon tumblr/MordredsAge _**and from:**_ archiveofourown /works/1454269/chapters/3062638

 _ **Anyways, reviews! Mersan123, thank you again as always for the review, and you are right Uthers hatred of magic infected a lot of people, a lot of them grew up hearing nothing but bad thing about magic too. That's gonna be explored more and more as Arthur works to change the laws. You know, when Merlin and Mordred aren't exploring each other. :D**_

 _ **That's about it for now, next updates are planned for Friday and Monday.**_

 _ **Anyways that's all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention.**_


	8. Not Quite a Walk of Shame

_**Today Merlin's walk of shame but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

It was rather strange sneaking into my own room, sure I'd snuck out loads of times, but in? That was a first. Slipping through the cracked door I was hoping to latest change my shirt before work after having spent the night with Mordred.

"Where have you been?" Gaius asked, arms crossed and giving me a dirty look.

Well there goes stealth.

"I was with Mordred," No point in lying, Gaius would catch me in a lie anyways.

"Mordred?"

"Yes,"

"Our Mordred? Mordred the druid knight?"

"No the one that juggles swords, _Yes our Mordred!_ "

"Well I'm sorry, I thought you hated the boy," I guess I could understand Gauis' surprise, at least a little bit.

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Shaking my head I tromp up the stairs to change quickly. "Well I don't hate Mordred, just don't trust him. So we're working on that. If he's going to be teaching the king I figure we ought to get along."

"That's awfully mature of you Merlin." Called the old man from down stairs.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" I demanded pulling on a clean shirt.

"I'm not," I didn't believe him. But I also had to wake up Arthur with his breakfast in about 10 minutes so there was no time to argue.

"Right, well I have work to do," I called, practically throwing myself down the staircase. "Also, Mordred was talking about teaching me some magic in the evenings, you know, if I'm late coming back, just a heads up."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I could hear nothing but worried disapproval, after all, magic was _still technically_ illegal.

"We'll just being going over theory to start, apparently he finds my formal education lacking."

Gaius looks like he wants to argue more, he even opened his mouth before I cut him off, I really should be running after all. Plus I did not want to say exactly what Mordred and I had been up to all night.

"-Sorry Gaius but I've really got to run," With a wave I'm out the door and breathing a sigh of relief.

* * *

Running through the halls, practically dancing as I spin or twist out of other servants ways, only the slightest bit of magic keeps the plates glued to the tray. God I'm running late today, not that it's different from any other day.

"Good Morning Arthur, Morning Gwen," I call out gleefully as I enter the royal bedchamber. Carefully I set out breakfast and pull open all of the curtains to Arthur groaning displeasure.

Gwen, always the early riser is already up and dressed. "Good morning Merlin," The Queen smiles helping me pull open the curtains. She leans close as we work whispering with a look of slight worry. "How do you think the council is going to take the news?"

"About as well as the knights but much less violently," I confide equally quiet.

Most of the knight had been knights since Uther's time, even more of the council members were Uther's men. Men who got their seats during or because of the purge. It was pretty much expected they'd fight it. Arthur and I had agreed as much back before we spoke to the Disir. We had also agreed that the council would have to grow up and accept the changes, though Arthur was nicer about it.

Arthur and Gwen settled to eat shortly after that, and within an hour someone was knocking on the door.

His mouth full, Arthur waved for me to open it.

It was Mordred.

"What?" Great Merlin, _real classy,_ stand there with your mouth hanging open.

"Well _Mer_ lin, you going to let him in or not?"

Mordred just smiled at me and side stepped into the room. "Good morning King Arthur, My Queen, Merlin,"

"Mordred, very good timing," Arthur spoke, standing to greet his knight. "Shall we get to it then?"

Nodding respectfully Mordred held up a leather bound book and gestured to the King's writing desk. "I thought it best we start simple, The God and Goddess, lore and like, before we start on actual rituals my King,"

"Wait, you're actually going to learn about the Old Religion?" Gwen asked following Arthur and Mordred to the desk.

"Of course I am!" Arthur sounded a little offended. "I said I would after all. What sort of King would I be if I didn't follow through with my word?"

"A very shoddy King," I replied helpfully as I cleaned up breakfast.

Waving his arms at me Arthur looked at Gwen, "See, even _Mer_ lin gets it."

"You are a wonderful and trustworthy King, everyone can see your word is binding." I called grinning as I cleaned.

"Exactly!"

With all the manners of a proper knight Mordred interrupted us, "Very good My King, but perhaps we should actually start?"

I left as the lesson began.

* * *

 ** _A short one, they can't all be 1000+ words, sorry. Anyways, next updates are planned Tuesday and Monday, I'm sorry but I've just got a bit of a busy weekend._**

 ** _Thank you to all 11 followers and 7 people who added this to favorites, you make me feel like I'm not shouting into cyber space. Thanks again to_** mersan123 **_for reviewing, like always. And this is just note, but it makes me supper excited, on Monday we had 130 views! Those are some exciting numbers! This is in fact my most popular story so thank for you taking the time to read it. I'll keep post as long as you keep reading._**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	9. Emrys

_**So sorry for the delay but sometimes life just happens but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

I LIED!

So Quick poll, there's going to be some talk about druid stuff, do you guys want fantasy druid or do you want to see some real Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids shit? I ask because I am a member of my local grove and I kinda want to go the OBOD route. But if you're here for Fantasy I'm just as happy giving you that.

But for reals now!

On to our feature Presentation.

* * *

"No" I said firmly as I turned, almost dancing around my would-be lover. I say ' _would-be'_ not because I don't love the boy, I do, I say ' _would-be_ ' because it _would be_ entirely inappropriate to have such a relationship with the boy. A relationship that he is entirely _too_ eager to pursue while I am perfectly happy waiting a year or so.

Okay maybe not ' _happy_ ' but ' _willing_ '.

Thus bringing us to our 48th argument on the matter in the past month.

"Merlin please," Mordred just barely kept the begging tone from his voice. "I love you Merlin, why? Why can't we be together?"

"You know perfectly well why," I replied making my way down the castle hall knowing full well Mordred would follow. He always follows. "I've told you a dozen times Mordred, you're 19, you're only a boy, I'm 25."

"I'm old enough!" Mordred cut in as he always did.

So far we went over everything we had before, the age difference, Mordred's age in general really, our places in court - _a knight with a servant_ , and then the fact that we're both men. Each one would be a scandal on it's own but all three?

That's just all the points I'd argued _with_ Mordred. I'd gone over so much more in my own head. Like the fact that he looks up to me as Emrys, the fact that while mature Mordred is still so young, and that youth meant that he could change his mind at any point, that he was - _maybe still is_ \- the one meant to kill Arthur. It often felt like on a good day I could find _100_ reason not to be with Mordred, on a bad day I could find _1,000_.

 _Yet_. . . . Yet I wanted him, I still wanted Mordred.

One hundred reasons to not be together and I still wanted the boy. Even more though I wanted the man I hoped he'd grow to be.

"Mordred please," I acknowledged the Druid turning to look at him, my arms full of Arthur's paper work. "For now can't we just say 'I love you' and leave it at that?"

Biting his lip like the child he never got to be Mordred nodded. "I love you too."

Unable to stop myself I stole a kiss in the almost empty hallway. "I know. I'll see you later." With that I turned and left.

* * *

Deep down I wanted Mordred, I still wasn't sure how much I could trust the boy, but I still wanted him. Wanted him than I'd wanted anyone before. That was a problem all on it's own, I'd learned with Freya that I'd been willing to abandon Arthur once for love, what if I'd do it again with Mordred? I couldn't risk that, not again. Then there was Mordred's destiny, and now I feel like I'm just repeating myself.

I know I'm just repeating myself.

But-

" _Merlin?_ "

Ahhhh speak of evil, I thought to myself as Mordred's clear voice mentally filled my mind. " _Mordred_ ," I answered.

 _"Merlin, will I see you tonight?_ " It was strange, to hear his voice in my mind and somehow know where Mordred was, what he was hoping for. I could only assume it was due to our closeness and his natural abilities when is came to this sort of communication. Perhaps there was more to it though, perhaps it was whatever connected us, perhaps it was my imagination, or maybe I just knew Mordred that well by now. Either way, I was sure he was in the little used servant's staircase less the 20 feet from the door to the quarters I shared with Gaius.

My heart heavy I once again replied the same argument I'd been having with Mordred and with myself since I before we even kissed. " _I'm not sure that's a good idea right now Mordred._ "

" _Why?!_ " I could feel his heartbreak through our connection. _"I'll be good, please I just want to see you._ " When he spoke like that Mordred reminded me just how young he really was. For all that Mordred could be mature sometimes he could be surprisingly childish.

Sighing I stood pacing my small room. " _Mordred,_ " what could I say? What could I tell him? How could I make understand the war in my heart?

" _Merlin. . . ."_

He's only 19.

" _Please. . . ._ "

I'm already 25.

" _Don't shut me out. . . ._ "

He's still growing up.

" _I love you . . . ._ "

I'm Emrys.

" _. . . . Emrys_."

I could feel the name, like ice in my veins it froze my heart. " _Mordred_ ," That was it, that was why it felt wrong, " _I can't today,_ " Because he looked up to me. Because to him I was Emrys, " _Maybe tomorrow_." Because it felt like taking advantage of him.

* * *

 ** _Once again so sorry for the delay, I won't say what happened because it feels like making up excuses and I don't like those. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post next, hopefully next week. I'm sorry but I've just gotten a bit of a busy._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites, you make me feel like I'm not shouting into cyber space. Thanks again to my reviews:_** mersan123 ** _(like always),_** Whitemiko12 **_(I'll keep trying)_** , HowlingRain ** _(So happy you found me)_** , _**and** _ myfoodisnotshared ** _(So glad you enjoy my dirty mind almost as much as I do.)_**

 ** _This is in fact my most popular story so thank for you taking the time to read it. I'll keep posting as long as you keep reading._**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	10. The Conversion Part One

_**So sorry for the delay but sometimes life just happens but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

I am ashamed to admit that I spent the next few days avoiding Mordred.

He knew it too. Every time I left a room after he entered. Everything I ignored him or acted as if I didn't hear him. He knew it and he'd whisper in my mind, ' _Emrys,_ ' so small, so sad, so hurt.

 _I_ made him feel small.

 _I_ made him sad.

 _I_ hurt him.

 _I_ loved him.

How could _I_ do this to him?

Knowing full and well that something had to be done it still took me days to figure out exactly _what_ I would do. I'd fallen for Mordred, the soft spoken and oddly mature druid boy, I'd kissed him and told him I loved him, and now I'd hurt him. The thought made me tear at my hair, I knew full and well that _something_ was going to force Mordred, or twist him against me in some why. It was start to look like **_I_** was going to be that _something_.

I fought with myself as I pulled off my shirt. I should be going to bed, I had to get up early after all. Slowly, my heart heavy I began to ready for bed.

Then as if the Maiden Goddess Herself took pity on me I heard _him_.

" _Merlin,_ " Well, that's a little unexpected given Mordred knows I've hear him before.

" _Merlin,_ " The druid repeats.

There's something . . . . _different_. I realize as once again Mordred mental voice whispers " _Merlin,_ " and my own name rings in my mind. It's soft and sad and almost bleeding with hurt and loneliness.

I'm on my feet, out the door, and almost flying down a flight of stairs before my brain can even process what my body is doing. Tripping every few feet I rush to Mordred's room, mentally calling out to him. " _Mordred!_ " There's only one thought in my head: the boy. I'm so bad at this I realize, so bad at all of it. How can I be Emrys when I make the boy I love hurt so deeply?

" _Merlin?!_ " He's surprised, still hurting, and tentative.

I don't know what to say, how to soothe his pain so I tell him the only thing that comes to my mind, " _I'm coming._ " The rest is unsaid but I'm sure Mordred can feel it: ' _I'm sorry_ ', ' _Forgive me?_ ', ' _I never meant to hurt you like this_ ', ' _I love you_ '.

When I turn into that last hall, mere feet from Mordred's door, he's waiting.

Of course he is.

I see him first, he's looking down, wringing his hands, tears welling in his eyes and leaving tracks down his pale cheeks. This time my brain thinks first demanding to hold him and fix all of this. Moving quickly I pull Mordred to me, he doesn't fight, instead he almost melts into the embrace, his strong arms wrapping around me and almost crushing me with his broad hands, and Mordred sobs.

His face is tucked against my shoulder, one of my arms wrapped around him to rub circles on his back, my free hand tangles in his hair. Less than half of Mordred's words are coherent, I catch even less, muffled as his voice is against me.

To say that I feel awful is an understatement.

With coaxing, soft pleas, and out right manhandling I get both of us back into Mordred's room, . I don't bother pulling away and just shut and lock the door and shutters with magic and I lead the hurt druid to his bed. It's the only place I can sit while still holding the boy.

" _I'm sorry,_ " I whisper to him mentally as I sit on the edge of the bed and pull Mordred into my bony lap. " _I'm so sorry, I never should have hurt you like this._ "

Being in the right awful state that Mordred is he sobs something I barely catch into my chest. I catch a few words, like: 'My fault', 'don't hate me', and 'sorry'.

If at all possible I think it makes me feel worst.

It's now quite obvious that I'm going to have to talk with Mordred about our relationship. Neither one of us would be able to take much more of what I've been putting us through. All this pain, guilt, loneliness, it's all on my head not Mordred and yet he's the one taking the blame. He's trying to shoulder the weight of the burden I put on us and now he's cracking under that burden.

Holding on tighter I nuzzle at the top of Mordred's head. " _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you. I really do, I'm sorry Mordred. Please Mordred forgive me._ "

Mordred doesn't seem to answer, he's too busy crying thanks to me. Beside, he doesn't really have to answer, I'd bet everything I own that he'd forgive. After all, to him I'm Emrys and that's the problem isn't it?

* * *

 ** _Next time will be a tears and fluff and our boys trying to sort their shit out._**

 ** _Once again so sorry for the delay, I'm still not sure when I'll be able to post regularly, hopefully soon, things are starting to fit back together. If you like by stuff, try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more. Like Shorts, originals, cuts from stuff I'm working on, or asking for what you want to see._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites, you make me feel so loved. Thanks again to my reviews:_** mersan123 ** _(like always, and yeah Mordred is so wearing Merlin down),_** duchessliz **_(I hadn't actually thought much about the prophecy but now. . . . Hmmmm. . . . .)_** , _**and** _ myfoodisnotshared ** _(You are right about the age, I feel like Merlin is thinking about how_ he _was at that age, Mordred is very mature though. And yeah, the whole power dynamic, something Merlin is so hyper aware of.)_**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	11. The Conversion Part Two

_**So sorry for the delay but sometimes life just happens but hey: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

It felt like ages so it's probably been less than a hour by the time Mordred has cried himself out and calmed down. A strange cold calm has settled over my druid but he remains cuddled and held in my lap.

"Why?" Mordred finally asks, his face still firmly buried in my chest.

"Because," I can feel something breaking inside my heart, I can hear in breaking in my voice too. "I'm not _Emrys_."

The name hangs in the air all around us, to me it sums up a lot. It was the difference between us, the way I can so confidently know that Mordred will forgive me most anything because I'm _Emrys_. It's my fear of failing. Failing: Arthur, Camelot, destiny, myself, and now Mordred. To me _Emrys_ is a curse, to Mordred it's hope. I've never thought of myself as _Emrys_. Never even wanted to be _Emrys._ But somehow, for Mordred, unconsciously, I grew to want it. _Emrys_ is a story, a legend, he's not real. I know I can never be him, but still. . . . For Mordred, I'd begun to want to try.

That was even worst.

Being Emrys would put me so high above Mordred, already Mordred looked at me as if I was some great legend, some sort of God. It was **_wrong_**.

"I'm Merlin," I told him, I could feel something wet running down my cheeks but I refused to acknowledge it. " _Just_ _Merlin_."

Mordred moves, I can only guess he wants to look at my face but I hold him tighter against my body. I don't want Mordred to me like this. I don't want him to see that I am weak, I can't bare it, to so openly show him my failings. Part of me wants to though, part of me wants to show him just who Merlin is, wants to break his of his idea that Merlin = Emrys when for me they so clearly don't match up.

Beyond that though I still want to hold him close.

"Merlin. . . ." He sounds as broken as I feel. "I'm sorry," I crush him tighter to me and Mordred tightens his arms around me. It feels like we're trying to hold each other together and I hate that we have to. "I- I should have, I mean You always-"

I shush him, kissing the top of his head. "No, _we should_ have talked about it. _I_ _should_ have told you. _I should_ have explained this long before now."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't hav-" I shushed Mordred again, cutting him off.

"You never did anything wrong." I told him firmly, finally pulling back and making Mordred look me in the eyes. " _Never._ " Taking a moment to wipe some of the tears from Mordred's face I warred with myself, as I often seemed to where Mordred was involved.

"I. . . . I've been at war with myself since I met you." I began trying to find the easiest way to explain everything. "Even when you were boy. I just. . . . It's. . . ." Swallowing hard I began at the start. "I helped you because you were just a child, it was the right thing to do. Or at least that's what I felt. But the Great Dragon. . . . He's quite sure I should have killed you then and he's right more often than not."

" _Why?_ " Mordred's voice in my mind is oddly calm, even for him.

I couldn't force the words past my lips. " _You're supposed to kill Arthur._ "

Shaking his head slowly Mordred refused to look at me. "No. No. No. No, he-he's my King, I woul- _couldn't_ kill Arthur."

Stroking and cuddling I tried to comfort Mordred. "I know, I was -still am- sure he's wrong. The Dragon-he-he has to be wrong. So I helped save you, every second of that day was a war with myself. With what I'd felt, what I'd hoped, and what I'd been told."

Silently in my arms Mordred was weeping. With a gentle hand I made him look back up at me. "I don't regret saving you that day, I never could. I do regret how long it took me to make up my mind though." I kissed his tear stained cheeks and cuddled Mordred closer. "I'm so sorry Mordred, I've made such a mess of things, letting you get hurt like this."

"Why?" Mordred asked his voice small.

I didn't have to ask to know what he meant, we knew each other too well by now.

With I sigh I began explaining everything the dragon had told me about Mordred's fate, everything anyone had ever told me actually, and everything I'd seen myself. By the end of my explanation Mordred looked terrified, and small, and young, so much younger than he had before.

" _I'm sorry,_ " I told him mind to mind. " _I don't want to hurt you but I fear what will come if I keep this from you any longer._ "

Mutely Mordred just nodded burying his tear stained face in my chest. "If they're right-"

" _They aren't._ "

" _But if they are-_ "

" _The future has many paths, our fate isn't written yet._ "

Mordred wouldn't look at me, and I couldn't blame him either. Everything I'd told him, it was lot, even for me at times. To suddenly have such a thing dropped on him, after the way I'd been treating him too.

" _I love Mordred,_ " I told him, I looked around Mordred's room, my eyes catching on the assortment of things collected on the bookshelf, all sorts of plants, pines, dried flowers, and rocks that Mordred had thought to keep. " _And I can't honestly believe that Arthur's killer keeps dried flowers._ "

* * *

 ** _Well our boys trying to sort their shit out. Remember a good healthy relationship needs a solid base of honesty!_**

 ** _Once again so sorry for the delay, I'm still not sure when I'll be able to post regularly, hopefully soon. Also if you like by stuff, try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more. Like Shorts, originals, cuts from stuff I'm working on, or asking for what you want to see._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites, you make me feel so loved. Thanks again to my reviews:_** mersan123 ** _(Thanks for always taking the time to review),_** Sweet-Strawberry-09 **_(I'm glad you're giving this ship a chance here XD)_** , _**and** _ myfoodisnotshared ** _(Thank you so much XD_ _)_**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	12. The Conversion Part Three

_**Oh look: O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Now that that's all said and done! Lets move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

 _"I love Mordred," I told him, I looked around Mordred's room, my eyes catching on the assortment of things collected on the bookshelf, all sorts of plants, pines, dried flowers, and rocks that Mordred had thought to keep. "And I can't honestly believe that Arthur's killer keeps dried flowers."_

* * *

At that Mordred laughed, it was weak and watery but it was laugh and to me that's the only thing that mattered just then.

"Honestly," I joked, "what sort of king slayer keeps dried flowers?"

"You may have a point there," Mordred laughed weakly again. "Maybe the sort that's trying to keep you off their back?"

"Well they're not doing a very good job of it now are they?" I replied nuzzling Mordred's fluffy hair. "As he's currently 50% of what I think about."

"What's the other 50%? Arthur?"

"And food!"

Mordred actually laughed at that. Internally I cheered; my Mordred wasn't so hurt that he couldn't laugh ever again. I felt as if I'd just been told there was no way he could ever kill Arthur, which would honestly be the best thing I've ever heard.

After he settled again Mordred looked up at me, his face flushed and tear stained. "Do you really believe that though, that I won't-"

"I believe," I cut Mordred off. "That the Druid I fell in love with is going to help me bring magic back to Camelot. I believe that so long as we're together nothing is going to stop us. I believe that between the two us Arthur isn't going to have that much of a choice when it comes to magic."

"How can you be so sure?"

Sighing tiredly and softly I leaned back to flopped onto the bed, pulling Mordred to lay down with me. "Because, I can't bare to think about any other possibility."

I knew I'd ruined the atmosphere, made everything tense again, reminded Mordred of what he was already trying so hard to forget. But I wanted to be honest, completely honest with him, thus I couldn't start lying and hiding painful things again already. Even if it hurt us being honest would be better, at least in the long, at least I hoped.

Quickly I stuffed away that depressing trail of thought and stretched out on Mordred's bed, his is so much bigger and softer than to one in my chambers. "Now, it's getting late, I'm going to bed." I announced, making myself comfortable and pulling Mordred close to cuddle.

"Wha- Merlin!" Mordred half shouted, wiggling and struggling in my arms. "I'm still dressed, I still have my boots on!"

I hummed, "I could help with that." I couldn't deny that Mordred _was_ good looking, very good looking in fact, and while I wasn't quite ready to go _that_ far I could at least appreciated that view.

Mordred was now turning bright red. "I-I should, I need too-"

Unable to help myself I grinned, sometimes Mordred was so calm and mature, other times it was quite obvious that he really was the youngest knight in Camelot. "You need to what exactly?" I teased, reaching out to stroke one brightly flushed cheek.

"I-I-I need to-ummmm m-my boots," He stuttered out, his whole face flushed.

I pressed feather light kisses to his flushed flesh that went trailing from Mordred's bright cheeks to his jaw, down his neck to his shoulders. "Is that so?" I pressed another kiss to his shoulder. "Should I help you with them?"

"Hmmm, wo-would you? Please?"

Grinning I rolled away from Mordred, crawling a few short feet on the bed to grab first one of Mordred's calves then the other, pulling the boots off of his feet and throwing them away as I did so.

"I suppose I should help you with your clothes now too, shouldn't I? You shouldn't got to bed in the clothes you wear to training should you?"

"Ahh, yo-you're right, I shouldn't." Mordred was flushed, biting his lips and looking quite embarrassed as he tried to look anywhere but directly at me.

"Unless," I put a single finger under Mordred's chin, turning him too look at me. "Would you rather I stop? If you're that embarrassed and uncomfortable I can stop."

I could see Mordred's neck move as he swallowed, his pale eyes of blue steel meeting mine. "I. . . . I don't want you to leave."

"Then I won't."

"I'm not, not sure what I should do."

"Well that would depend on what you want."

Mordred pouted at that. "I want you."

"Ahhhh," I nodded sagely. "You'll have to wait for that."

"Wha-!" Mordred gasped like a fish. "But why?"

Part of me really, _really_ , wanted to blame it on work, on the time, on a dozen other things I'm sure I could find. But, I was the one that wanted to be honest in this relationship, so I had to be honest about this sort of thing didn't I? "Because, to you I'm Emrys. I'm not, I can't Mordred. It feels like I'm taking advantage of you."

From the look Mordred was giving me it was obvious he'd never considered it in that way, never considered that my being Emrys could affect our relationship. I couldn't help but see this as another sign of Mordred's immaturity.

"But, you're not?" Mordred propped himself up on his elbows, something about the way Mordred spoke made it sound more like a question. "I want to, with you."

"It doesn't matter Mordred, or rather I should say, I'm worried." I laid back down next the druid. "I love you and I feel like I'm taking advantage of you. I hate that feeling. If we slept together now. . . ." I trailed off, clenching and unclenching my fists. How could I make Mordred see it? How could I explain that it?

"Well?" Mordred prodded gently when I didn't answer for a few moments.

Sighing I curled up against the druid, why did I ever think honesty would be a good idea? "Because, I'm Emrys aren't I? What if you realize that you've wanted 'Emrys' all this time and decide 'Just Merlin' isn't enough? What if at the end 'Merlin' falls too short after 'Emrys'? And even if 'Merlin' is okay, you're still young, how can you be sure I'm what you want?"

"And what if 'Just Merlin' if more than enough? What if I love 'Just Merlin' more than 'Emrys'? What if no one else matters because 'Just Merlin' is perfect? What if you're worried about nothing?"

Snuggling my druid I laughed. "I guess you could have a point there."

With a smug look on his face Mordred began combing his fingers through my hair, I could almost feel myself melting at his touch.

"If you keep that up I will fall asleep."

"Good, you look tired."

Laughing I made myself comfortable enough to sleep. "I am tired, that royle prat runs me ragged from dawn to dusk."

I couldn't see his face but I was almost certain Mordred rolled his eyes. "So why are you still his servant if it's such an awful job?"

"It's a great why to keep an eye on him. How else do you expect me to keep the great royle idiot alive?"

"I think that's treason."

I yawned. "I'm too tired to care."

"You might be, but I'm a knight, am I going to have to turn you in?"

Jabbing Mordred in the side only made him laugh. "You turn me in and I'm taking you down with me you magical druid of prophecy."

"Good point, well you're safe for now."

"Now that that's decided, let me sleep." I jabbed Mordred again.

Mordred wrapped me in a tight hug. "Don't want to!"

With a forceful shove I sat up, frowning down at Mordred who looked quite pleased, even with tear stains still on his face. "In that case I'm going back to my own bed."

Within seconds Mordred had grabbed and gotten us both tangled in his sheets. "I'll be good, promise! Please Merlin, don't go."

In the end I didn't leave, I didn't want to either. So I fell asleep, warmly tangled in the sheets together with Mordred on his bed, with the taste of his lips on mine. It was probably the best night's sleep I'd ever had.

* * *

 ** _This now ends what feels like the longest night for our boys XD Up next: training, lessons and references to stuff from actual episodes :3_**

 ** _If you like by stuff, try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more. Like Shorts, originals, cuts from stuff I'm working on, or asking for what you want to see._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites, you make me feel so loved. Thanks again to my reviews: duchessliz ** _(Yeah '_**_** keep Mordred from the path of regicide' **_really is the name of the game_** ** _ ** _)_** , _**mersan123 ** _(I feel like 'shocked' might be an understatment),_** _**and** _ myfoodisnotshared ** _(What can I say, I love dramatic moments :3_ _)_**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	13. Early Morning Teasing

_**Is this late? Yes, am I sorry? Very.**_

 ** _But hey I have been working on it so hopefully I'll be posting more._**

* * *

I woke first.

The sun's light wasn't even reaching over the walls to light the courtyard yet but I was awake and ready to get up, if not exactly willing to get up. It was quite comfortable to lay in bed tangled together with Mordred. Still, it was early and I had chores to get done: mucking out stable, polishing weapons and armor, feeding and dressing Arthur for the day, errands for Gaius, and at least a dozen other things to clean, mend, or otherwise take care of.

Carefully I slipped out of the bed, pressed a light kiss to Mordred's cheek, and bid the Druid a silent farewell.

I was so caught up in making sure that I didn't wake Mordred that I slipped out of the room and promptly tripped over Gwaine.

"Woah Mord- _ **Merlin!**_ "

" **Shhhh!** " I hushed the knight rather aggressively and pulled the grinning Gwaine away from Mordred's door. " _What_ are doing up this early?" I demand as Gwaine opened his own mouth.

"What are you doing in _Mordred's rooms_?" Gwaine looked much too pleased, happier than a cat with cream he was.

Trying to deflect I shot back with: "I asked you first."

Gwaine just grinned even wider. "Avoiding are we? Shall I make up your story for you then?"

"Please don't," I deadpanned to avoid begging.

"I think you spend the _night_ with the youngest _knight_ in Camelot."

I couldn't say anything to that, I didn't like lying to Gwaine - _but magic meant I had too_ \- besides, Gwaine was crazy good at sniffing out lies.

"Oh-ho!" The older man laughed happily. "Well well well, Mordred and Merlin, and here were all were thinking you loved Arthur."

Snorting in annoyance I rolled my eyes at Gwaine. "Arthur? As if I'd fall in love with that prat!"

The first little bits of daylight were now starting to creep over the castle walls, looking at them I nodded towards the castle proper and began walking. Gwaine followed, of course he couldn't let this good teasing go to waste.

"Yes, yes, that's what I told Leon, he didn't believe me." Gwaine was sounding much too pleased and for a moment I wondered if he's had a bet on my love life. I couldn't ask, I didn't want to know. "But Mordred? Really? How long?" Gwaine began firing off questions as we took the steps and make our ways to the castle kitchens.

"We haven't- we're not-"

A firm hand shot out and wrapped tightly around my upper arm, pulling me to a stop, I could smell the kitchens even though we were still a bit away.

"Merlin."

"Gwaine."

"What are you doing with Mordred?"

I opened my mouth before I realised I didn't have an answer. "I don't know."

Head shaking Gwaine laughed. "Of course you don't! You know the boy's in love with you right?"

"Yes," I sighed crossing my arms defensively.

"Good," Gwaine nodded, as if confirming some believe he had about our relationship. "Just, be careful right? I don't know who I should be more worried about; you or Mordred."

"Neither," I turned and went back to the task at hand: Arthur's breakfast.

Like his laughter Gwaine followed me. "If you say so. Still," Gwaine shook his head laughing like he'd just heard the best joke. "You and Mordred, and here we'd thought you hated the boy!"

"I never hated him," I could feel my face flushing as I turned the corner.

"Could have fooled me."

"I just didn't know what to make of him. He's a druid, he knows Morgana, hell he's h _elped_ Morgana!"

"Are you sure you don't hate him?" Gwaine pressed sounding worried.

I stopped, as did Gwaine, my gaze dropped to the floor. "I don't _hate_ him, I'm just worried. I'm never sure how much I can _trust_ him."

"Arthur trusts him."

"And Arthur trusted Morgana, _look where that got us_."

We were silent for a few long moments.

"It _sounds_ ," Gwaine said at last, "as if you're trying to talk yourself out of whatever's between you two. And yet, you spent the night with him. You really ought to sort out your feels before you sleep around mate."

" **I didn't fuck the boy!** " I snapped.

Gwaine was trying not to grin. "But I bet you want to."

Apparently my flushed face told Gwaine all he needed to know because the knight left laughing loudly at my expense.

* * *

 ** _Ahh, embarrassment courtesy of Gwaine 3_**

 ** _If you like my stuff, try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviews:_** mersan123 ** _,_** Biaa Black Potter, _**and** duchessliz_ ****

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	14. Who's Emrys?

_**First off, please read the note at the end, now as always we have our O**_ _ **bligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Okay, now we can move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

I had just finished cleaning up the King and Queen's breakfast when once more Mordred came knocking. Arthur and Gwen were shearing sweet farewells as Gwen would be going off to ride with her brother and the other knights. Mordred's arrival saved me from awkwardly watching the love birds by myself.

Of course I'd also told Mordred mentally when he should start heading up.

"I was thinking we could start talking more about the triple Goddess," Mordred was saying as he and Arthur got settled. "There's so much to go over-"

"-Actually," Arthur cut the boy off. "I'd like to hear about this 'Emrys'. I've heard the name before, but no one seems to know anything."

" _I'm sorry Merlin_."

Well this was a topic I'd hoped they'd avoid.

" _Don't you dare!"_ I told Mordred, I could just barely making out the movement as he flinched out of the corner of my eye.

" _Merlin,_ " it was half pleading, half placating.

"I'm not that surprised you've heard the name, Emrys is well known to the druids after all you see Emrys is a sort of legend." Mordred was beginning. "A druid myth, Emrys, 'The Greatest Warlock to Walk the Earth' is meant to help 'The Once and Future King'." Mordred was excited, it was just a slight hint, a slightly different tone to his voice. I was fairly sure Arthur hadn't noticed Mordred's excitement even though the King looked both puzzled and intrigued. "Together they'll bring back magic and save, well, everyone. Most Druids think he's meant to help you, many believe you'll be 'The Once and Future King'. In that case Emrys would be your greatest ally. At least if the druids are right." Bitting his lips gently Mordred seemed to be trying to rein in his excitement. I can't really blame him, he was telling 'The Once and Future King' about 'The Once and Future King'.

"Help me?! Me?! Bring back magic?!" Oh Arthur was definitely surprised. "Bu-but I'm _Uther's_ son! I grew up killing anyone with magic!"

"Yes, I know." There was a cold pained look in Mordred's eyes at that and I wanted nothing more than to hold him.

That feeling was quickly crushed.

All I could do though was send him a wave of magical comfort as I bend over Arthur's bed to straighten the sheets.

"That being as it is, many Druids still hope you'll prove yourself a kinder King than your father, at least where magic is involved." At that Mordred went into every Emrys related tale and myth he knew.

I didn't stay to hear them.

* * *

"I'm coming too!" Mordred declared slamming his hands on that table as he stood violently. I had expected as much, Mordred really wasn't the sort to sit back and wait at home while the rest of the knights went on a dangerous quest.

"No you're not," I calmly told him. "You're staying put right here. You're the youngest knight and Arthur and I both believe this to be the work of Morgana."

Mordred opened his mouth- _no doubt to argue_ \- but I talked right over him. " **And if** Morgana is behind this I wouldn't put it past her to use Gwen as a diversion. So sit down and listen to me for five minutes Mordred."

Pouting like a child Mordred sat.

Sighing I settled myself more comfortably at Mordred's table. After having seen to Leon and Percival, and having talked to Arthur I'd come to see Mordred. So far this conversation was going about as badly as I'd expected.

"Yes you're staying here but I _need_ you here Mordred. If Morgana _is_ using Gwen as a diversion and if she _does_ attack while I'm trailing after Arthur to save our Queen what do you think will happen?"

Swallowing and looking just slightly shamed Mordred answered: "She'd win. There'd be no one with magic to counter her if we both left."

"Exactly!" I cheered reaching across the table to mess up his hair. "I have to follow our King into what is the most obvious of obvious traps but that doesn't mean we have to leave the back door open for Morgana."

With a grimace and flushed cheeks Mordred swatted my hand away and tried to fix his hair giving me dirty looks from across the table. "What if she doesn't though? What if I could have helped you?"

I shrug, "Then we played it safe, no harm in that."

Mordred just slouched in his chair and gave me dirty looks for a few minutes. I took the chance to eat some of the bean and pork pies I'd stole from the kitchen on my way over; not the best, but better than nothing, and definitely better than Gaius' cooking.

"You're just making sure I don't feel bad about being left behind." Mordred accused, snatching the other pie and digging in.

"Perhaps," I wasn't ready to admit that I just wanted him somewhere relatively safe while I had to watch Arthur.

* * *

 _ **Quick Note: I'm having a bit of a time with the next few chapters, they're written in rough, I just don't like them yet. I might take some time re-working them into something a like. That's because I'd much rather give you guys work I'm happy with then just throw out sub-par work every few days. So, sorry if the next chapter or two is a little late, I didn't forget, just trying to make something I'm proud of.**_

 ** _Moving on, if you like my stuff, try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviews:_** _duchessliz **(Yeah I know you saw this coming XD I had this part writen out when you made a comment about it XD Anyways, glad you enjoy Gwaine, he and Lance are my fav Knights),**_ mersan123 _**(Oh Gwaine is so going to tease them! Mordred wont even see it coming :3), and**_ ThexXxAngel _**(Fear not, more is coming!).**_

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	15. The Death of Elyan

_**Oh man this one gave me a lot of trouble! Sometimes I just have a hard time getting a chapter to a point where I can say**_ **'** Yup this is good! I'm going to post this!'. _ **But I'm finally happy enough with it to post.**_ _ **Obligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Okay, now we can move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

A heavy air of depression hung over our party, the loss of Elyan was a keen pain felt by all of us. I felt like each of us were in some way blaming ourselves; I knew I was. The worst part was Gwaine, sure he talked, but even then he was softer than usual, restrained in a sense. It felt as if he spoke more out of habit and just to fill the air with something beyond the sound of hooves and breathing. I don't know what he was trying to do, but somehow it just kept reminding me that things had turned out badly.

Part of me kept thinking that maybe _, just maybe,_ if they'd known about my magic. If I could have used my magic openly. If only I'd _tried_. Maybe, just maybe, I could have broken the enchantment. Maybe no one would have had to die to save Gwen.

But no one _knew_ , no one _could know_. I couldn't have used magic so openly, and I couldn't even try to undo such an enchantment. At least, not _yet_.

Between depressing thoughts and humouring Gwaine I kept reaching, kept trying to make contact with Mordred. I knew I wouldn't reach the boy, I couldn't even sense him. It still didn't stop me from trying.

It was finally early morning, still a good day and a half of riding from Camelot, when I felt Mordred. He was reaching too. It was just a brush, we were still too far to speak, but I could feel him.

He was worried for me; _for all of us_.

I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the feeling of Mordred silently brushing my mind with his, it was the most sublime comfort I'd ever known. Taking a deep breath I let go of my guilt for a moment and tried to reassure Modred through feelings along.

" _Stay in Camelot, I'm safe, Arthur is safe, Gwen is safe, I'll see you soon._ " I knew Mordred wouldn't hear the words, not at this vast distance, but I still thought them.

Mordred kept reaching for me throughout the day, and I him. More to avoid depressing thoughts on my part though, and to distract myself from the gloom of my companions. I felt guilty, enjoying the comfort I found in Mordred's presence brushing my mind, I couldn't push him away though, so I push aside the guilt instead.

We set up camp late, for the past few hours I'd heard a murmur of barely word like sounds from Mordred, as I searched for wood those slight murmurs became actual words.

" _Merlin? How far are you? Can you hear me yet? Merlin, Merlin I miss you. You're safe right? What about Arthur and Gwen? They're okay aren't they? Merlin-_ "

I cut of the druid then. " _Yes Mordred, I can hear you now_." I was almost knocked off my feet by the rush of glee and relief Mordred felt. Laughing to myself I continued. " _We're still a half day's ride, but I'll be back soon, I missed you too. Arthur and Gwen are fine. I'm just collecting firewood, I'll have see if I can find a place around camp close enough to keep this up_."

I refused to bring up Elyan yet, out of all of the knights Mordred seemed to get along with Elyan best. I knew it was selfish of me but I didn't want to be the one to tell Mordred, at least, not yet. The connection weakened as I made a simple stew, Mordred words dimming back down to a quiet hum at the back of my mind.

As soon as I could I took my food and threw myself to the far side of the camp, barely inside the clearing just to hear Mordred better. The knights gave me strange looks but said nothing and left me alone as they ate.

" _Okay okay, I can hear you, what were you saying?_ "

* * *

" _Why?_ " Mordred's voice rang within my head, a mix of different types of pain; loss with a hint of betrayal. " _Why didn't you tell me_?"

He like so many others had their eyes locked on the covered and bound body of Elyan tied to his own horse. The return of the Queen should have been a happy affair, now the whole event was clouded over with the loss of the knight and the Queen's brother.

I gave Mordred the only answer I had: " _I just couldn't._ "

Even now I wasn't sure if I couldn't tell Mordred out of selfishness, or some misguided attempt to spare him. I did know that I had wanted to avoid the loss in that forest, not share that pain with Mordred. Maybe that was why I hadn't said anything? It didn't matter now though, I kept it from Mordred and now he knew.

It wasn't long before what seemed like half of Camelot was gathered to pay their final respects and farewells to Elyan.

Mordred and I kept a steady connection of silence the whole time. Neither saying a thing just existing on the edges of each other's mind, there for each other, silently offering what comfort we could.

That night I slipped into Mordred's chambers. Lately I felt like I spent more time here than I did in my own, I'd even taken over of few of Mordred's shelves and drawers.

Tonight he pulled me to the bed, curling around each other I confessed my own failings to save Elyan. Mordred didn't bother telling me it wasn't my fault, part of me knew that. The logical part, the small quiet logical part had long accepted that I had nothing to do with Elyan's death, that I couldn't have changed things.

" _Someone was going to die._ " Mordred silently told me. " _Morgana was willing to bet that would have been Arthur though._ "

I tightened my arms around Mordred, burying my face in his chest. "I still don't like it. I'm _Emrys_ , how can I save Arthur if I can't even-"

" _Your job is_ Arthur _, not his_ knights _. From now on, leave the knights to_ me." Mordred cut me off, one arm around me the other playing with my hair.

I sighed into the embrace. Part of me, a small barely even there part that didn't even matter, still had a hard time trusting Mordred not just because of the prophecy. Mostly I had trouble trusting because I just didn't trust others. The last time I was even somewhat open with magic was Lancelot, that still hurt to much to think about.

" _You said you're not Emrys_ ," Mordred reminded me. " _Well how can you expect Merlin to do the work of Emrys alone._ "

I had to laugh at Mordred turning my own words against even though it came out sounding pained and just on the edge of hysteric. "Cocky little shit." I joked cuddling my druid closer.

* * *

 _ **Oh wow! 15 chapters, over 17,000 words! This is getting long! XD**_ ** _Moving on, if you like my stuff, try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviews:_** _duchessliz **(I'm not afrid to admit it, I wept like a bitch when Gwaine died),**_ mersan123 _**(Piff I feel like Arthur only sees what he want to see), and**_ myfoodisnotshared _ **(A change that big doesn't just happen over night XD but it's coming, slowly but surely coming).**_

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	16. Do You Suspect As I Do?

_**I ended up at a Con helping my dad, so I was super busy for a while. Sadly that means this will be short but now I finally have enough time to post.**_ _ **Obligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Okay, now we can move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

It had been nearly a week since Elyan's death and another morning came, and once again I carefully slipped from Mordred's bed, once more I dressed silently using magic to summon my clothes from the dark. Before leaving I turned to the bed, meaning to give Mordred a goodbye kiss only to find the druid awake and watching me.

Intense pale blue eyes stared up at me, watched me set over a pleased smile. " _I love watching you do magic._ "

" _Goodbye Mordred_ ," I smiled leaning down to stealing a kiss.

On my way out I stopped long enough to check through a crack in the door that no one was on the other side. I _really_ didn't want to run into Gwaine again. Good a friend he may be but a man can only take so much teasing first thing in the morning.

* * *

Leaving Arthur and Gwen I set off to find Mordred before I had to join Gaius for dinner. The druid was impossible to _not_ find. I cornered him in one of the main less used hall ways of Camelot's castle, as expected Mordred was waiting.

It didn't take long for me to explain everything that had happened from my conversation with Tyr to talking with our King and Queen. Speaking mind to mind meant even if someone happened to walk by they would hear nothing. As my story unfolded Mordred kept a bland contemplative expression but telling Mordred how Gwen had convinced Arthur to wait gave the druid pause.

" _Why?_ " He asked mind-to-mind, brow furrowed.

I shrugged, moving to lean against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest. " _She thinks he might be more willing to speak after a night in a cell._ "

" _He sleeps in the stables; even in winter."_ Mordred began. " _I don't think a night in the cells is that likely to loosen Tyr's lips. If fear has shut them, discomfort won't loosen them._ "

I found myself unable to argue, I had thought the same myself. " _I feel like you're about to suggest something._ "

Mordred's teeth worried at his bottom lip. " _It's just a thought really,_ " he confessed softly. " _Gwen was alone with Morgana for some time. Don't you feel she's been a bit. . . odd lately? I know she's lost her brother, but she's. . . ._ "

Reaching out I took Mordred's hands in mine. "- _She's distant. She has been less open with me, even with Arthur._ " I allowed, sighing, both relieved and worried that someone else shared my same suspicions. I caught sight of the darkening sky. "I _should go before it gets too much darker. Who knows, maybe Gaius has some ideas._ "

With the quickest of kisses I left Mordred to go pick Gaius' brain.

* * *

 ** _If you liked this try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviews:_** _duchessliz **,**_ mersan123 _ **.**_

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	17. Dinner Disturbed

_**Yes I know how long this took, and yes I'm very sorry. Obligatory **_**_Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Okay, now we can move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

I watched Arthur talk with Gwaine, a bone deep worry settling over me. What with Tyr's death, Gwen acting so strange, and now the attack, everything fit together, I knew it, there was just one piece missing. At Arthur's request to search the woods I just hoped I could find a clue as too that missing puzzle piece.

Waiting I watched as Arthur and Gaius left before moving.

"I don't think this is over." I warned Gwaine, dropping to sit beside the Knight.

Gwaine leveled me with a confused and worried look."What do you mean?"

"Well," I began, needing to warn someone else before I left, "whoever's responsible for the attack on Arthur's life; what's to stop them from trying again?"

"They won't have a chance, the citadel's of full alert." Gwaine replied, his voice sure and even as I could see him turning over my words in the back of his head. "Every entrance, every exit, is being watched. Trust me Arthur's safe as long as he remains in Camelot."

"That's just it, what if he's not safe here? What if Camelot is the most dangerous place that he could be?" It was I thought I'd been turning over since Tyr's death, a worry fluttering like a moth in the back of my head. "Who could have access to the stables? Who could have known the lay out to the cells? Who knew the Tyr would do anything to protect his mother? You need to stay close to Arthur and do anything you have to protect him."

"You have my word Merlin." It felt like Gwaine promised more to ease my mind, but from the way he studied the wall I knew he was taking my words seriously.

Glancing up I saw Mordred standing in the doorway, sword and armor on.

" _I'm coming with you._ " Even several years younger the druid's tone left no room for argument on the matter.

I gave Mordred a small smile. " _Good,_ "

* * *

" _You're going to end up looking old with how much you're frowning._ " Mordred's voice rang out in my mind.

Without thinking I looked up, to my left and down the connecting hall Mordred stood talking with another of the knights, a newer one only a year or so older than Mordred himself. The druid's eyes though, were on me.

" _I'm not frowning._ " I shot back, hefting the basket of the King's laundry higher to rest some of the weight on my hip.

" _You're frowning._ "

" _I'm thinking._ " I kept walking, catching Mordred's smirk as he disappeared around the corner.

" _Is there a difference in your world?_ "

I had to bit my lip to keep from smirking myself. Such a cocky little shit. " _You're a cocky little shit Mordred. Goodbye._ "

I made my way to a kitchen and through it to the laundry room on the back where I began haphazardly dumping Arthur's clothes in the water and trying to figure out where the scrape of fabric we'd found in the forest had come from.

Trying to nick a dumpling only saw me smacked with the kitchen mistress' spoon.

With a pout I grabbed up the rest of Arthur's clothes when silver caught my eye. A grey gown with fancy expensive trim, I didn't even really need to check. " _MORDRED!_ " I pulled the torn bit found in the forest from my pocket. " _Mordred get to the King NOW!_ "

Cursing under my breath I was already running, carelessly dropped the King's clothes and stuffed the evidence in my pocket.

Within moments Mordred's voice filled my mind. " _Light something on fire, I told the King I saw smoke in the castle._ "

Skidding to a halt I look around, the coast was clear so with golden eyes I set ever drape, door, tapestry, table, and chair in sight a flame. I also unintentionally surrounded myself in fire. Throwing one arm across my face I blindly broke back into a run shouting about fire.

Soon the castle was full of panic.

* * *

It was hours later, myself, Mordred, Leon, several on duty knights, King Arthur, and Queen Guinevere stood around the King and Queen's personal dinning chamber. The royal dinner sat cold and abandoned on the table.

As the King lectured the Knights I stood to one side and did my very best not to cough up a lung.

" _Well this could have gone better._ " Mordred's voice filled my mind as he shot me a sympathetic look while I coughed. " _When I suggested you start a fire I didn't mean for you to stand in the_ middle _of said fire._ "

" _Yeah well I wasn't really thinking._ " I shot back.

" _I noticed._ " It was mildly impressive watching Mordred talk to both me and explain how he noticed to the 'Fire' to The King without even a hint of distraction. " _And you're supposed to be the most powerful warlock to walk the earth. Well I suppose the prophecy_ didn't _mention intelligence after all._ "

"After smelling and then seeing the smoke the first place I came was to you my King, your safety is my first concern after all, Sire" Mordred was saying, his eyes on Arthur but he looked to me every time I coughed.

" _Ouch! I thought you loved me._ "

The King nodded before turning to me. "And you Merlin? How did you end up in the middle of all that?"

My hand strayed to the bandages over my burnt arm. In the end both arms - _left was worst-_ my left shoulder, most of my back, and much of my left side had been burnt, my shoulder and upper left arm were the worst off. "I was coming back, realised I forgot some of your," I had to stop to cough. "Your clothes to wash. I was heading back when I saw a drape on fire." I rasped doing my best not to cough. "It was small, set down the clothes, pulled down the drape, when I looked up." I coughed again, Leon came forward to offer me some water which I drank thankfully. "When I looked up everything that could burn was burning. So I ran."

Looking old and tired Arthur dismissed all but myself, Mordred, and Leon, before he took a seat. "Leon I want you to investigate what started the fire, Merlin, you are dismissed from du- _Stop it!_ Don't look at me like that! You're half burnt and can _hardly breathe_! You are dismissed from your duties until Gaius says otherwise." At this Arthur turned to Mordred, a slight smile lifting one corner of his mouth. "You Mordred are on Merlin watch until further notice, is that clear?"

Leon was looking decidedly amused, even Arthur. . . Then it hit me: **Gwaine.** My face lit up bright red, even Mordred had a slight blush under the soot and ash on his face.

" _Think they know?_ " Mordred asked me as he bowed before the King.

" _Oh, they know!_ "

"Perfectly clear," Mordred spoke bowing to the King.

Arthur nodded picking a goblet off the table. "Very good, now I'm going to salvage what I can of dinner. I suggest you three do the same and get some rest Merlin." With that Arthur threw back his head and drank deeply.

Just beside him the Queen went stiff, and within moments Arthur had passed out.

"ARTHUR!"

* * *

 ** _OKAY! This chapter (and the next three) took forever! It was really hard to write this because a lot of it felt like I was just writing extra scenes for the show and that really wasn't what I wanted to be writing. After a long time, a lot of writing and rewriting I have come to give you guys this. I REALLY hope you enjoyed it. XI_**

 ** _If you liked this try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites._**

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	18. Calm Morning

_**Obligatory**_ ** _Disclaimer_** _ **: This is fan-fiction, I own nothing, I make no money off of this.**_

 _ **Okay, now we can move on to the feature presentation, enjoy!**_

* * *

Morning came much too early.

Groaning I rolled over to my left, one arm reaching for the warm body of Mordred I knew should be there as I had every morning after spending the night with him. The second I did roll over my side exploded with sharp, white hot, pain.

Right. Burns.

" _Merlin?_ "

I opened my eyes to the pale morning light and Mordred's concerned face as he careful helped me roll over onto my right side. Facing away from Mordred and into the room, not my favorite position but at least it didn't hurt.

"Morning," I managed to speak through gritted teeth.

"Morning," Mordred replied, his voice croaky with sleep. I could feel him shifting around behind me, probably moving to laying back down, probably watching me. "How do you feel?"

I didn't have to think much about that one. "Over cooked and paranoid."

The sun must still be rising, normally I'd have to leave soon, but in light of my injuries I'd been temporarily freed of my duties.

Not to mention the poisoning attempt.

At some point someone - _and I suspected the queen_ \- had slipped something in Arthur's drink with his dinner. It had merely knocked him out, but it meant that someone was planning something much worst. Given the commotion with the fire it was assumed by the knights that the would be poisoner had set the fire as a distraction so as to slip the King something. What no one but Mordred and I knew though was that I had set the fire, we also knew about the bit of the queen's dress found in the forest.

All of this was beginning to point to Queen Guinevere, not a pleasant thought as I still considered her a close a dear friend. There must be some sort of control or influence Morgana held over Gwen that made her act in such ways. After everything that had happened the night before I'd told Mordred all I'd found, all I'd suspected. What followed was a long debate with Mordred that went late into the night. In the end we both agreed Morgana had to somehow be behind Gwen's change in character; it was the only answer that made any sense to either of us.

" _Your thinking is keeping me up,_ " In my mind Mordred grumbled but I got the feeling he was smiling. He did that alot.

" _Then don't listen._ " It was strange, early in the mornings when Mordred was still half asleep he often picked up bits of whatever I thought about. From how he explained it he didn't get words, more like stray thoughts and feelings. Even more strange: I didn't mind.

I shifted to study the ceiling, trying to clear my mind so I didn't wake Mordred up anymore than I already had. After last night he deserved to sleep in. Eyeing the now familiar sight of Mordred's ceiling gave me a strange feeling, it was more familiar than my own after all the nights spent here. Though for all the nights we'd spent together we'd never gone further than fleeting touch and passionate kisses; I never allowed it to go further.

Looking at the table I saw my own book of healing herbs still lay open among the scattered pages of notes from the day before. All around the plain room with it's sacred table and chairs, armor and weapon racks, the bookshelf - _now home to Mordred's plants, and trinkets, and a collection of my own books_ \- the chest of drawers - _now home to both Mordred's clothes and some of my own_ \- the old iron stove that sat under the window with its shutters drawn and locked. Somehow it felt less like Mordred's room and more like our room.

Behind me I felt Mordred shift again before his warm hand touched the unburnt part of my back and right shoulder. " _Now there's a_ very _pleasant thought._ " Gently his other hand began combing through my hair and lips were pressed to joint of my neck and shoulder.

" _Your room is closer to the kitchen,_ " I began, " _saves me a few moment of precious sleep in the morning._ "

" _Of course,_ " Mordred kissed me shoulder before sitting up. " _So what's today's plan?_ "

Around each other we'd fallen into a habit of speaking almost entirely- _at least I had_ _, for Mordred only ever addressed me aloud around others, and sometimes not even then_ \- through our minds.

" _Well I have the day off, so sleeping in for starters._ "

" _I like that plan._ " Mordred yawned before laying back down.

I rolled onto my stomach so I could turn my head and watch him, folding my arms to rest my chin on. " _We should hang around, watch the knight's training later._ "

Mordred lay curled up on his side facing me, his right arm and left hand tucked under his head, he cracked one eye open to look at me. " _Did you want to gloat or ogle Gwaine?_ "

"Oh both of course! What's the point of good fortune if others don't know?" Mordred smirked at that. "Besides what do you care? You're on 'Merlin Watch'."

" _A terrible fate, truly._ " The druid joked, shifting about and yawning.

I couldn't keep the smile from my face. " _You should get some more sleep._ "

" _I am_ not _a child Merlin. Besides, you're the injured one._ "

" _Never said you were Mordred._ " I rolled my eyes. " _I'm not going anywhere._ "

Grumbling Mordred laid a hand on the small of my back as he closed his own eyes. Within moments the druid was asleep again.

* * *

 ** _If you liked this try my Tumblr:_** solariaastrashfics **_for more._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviewers:_** mersan123 _ **.**_

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	19. Knight are Actually Children

_**So this is going to be short and shitty but it's something so Merry fuckin' christmas you fuckin' nerd I love you guys!**_

* * *

Hours later Mordred and I finally dragged ourselves away from each other, and our bed, and down to the training grounds. Mordred hovered around me like a nervous mother doting on her sick child; it was as embarrassing as it was cute.

Sweating in the sun the Knights of Camelot trained. Leon was putting Gwaine and Percival through complex drills, along with several other Knights. Arthur was even training and looking sour as he trained with the newest knights. The King was putting the new recruits through their paces, even I could tell that half of them were rubbish. It would take a lot of sweat, blood, and long hours of training for the newer recruits to become even passable knights, even then I was sure some of them would drop out of training within the fortnight.

"I believe I told you to rest!" Arthur shouted the moment he noticed me.

The reaction was instantaneous: Gwaine and Percy dropped their swords along with every other Knight I'd ever talked to. They all came running Gwaine and Percy the only ones energetic enough to swing under or hop over the training yard fence. Loen and many of the senior Knights acted with more restraint, setting aside their blades properly before coming up to greet me. Those who didn't know took the opportunity to have a break while their teachers were distracted. Not the best idea with Arthur caught them, but I couldn't really blame them for wanting a break. From the way one blond was looking at his hands I would bet good money most of them were spoiled noblemen sons who weren't used to serious hard work.

I didn't have much time to take further stock of the new faces though as Gwaine was swinging under the fence and Percy was bodily throwing himself over it both of them reaching me at the same time. Gwaine pulled me into a crushing hug, at my shout of pain as he grabbed my burned arm he dropped me. Percy showed some level of restraint as he patted my back. Lucky for me none of the other knights tried to hug me after Gwaine.

It took a sometime, answering every question thrown my way and assuring everyone for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 23rd times that ' _Yes, I am in fact fine thank you!_ ' Eventually Leon sent most of the knights back to training, soon joining them himself.

After a few more moments only Mordred, Gwaine, Arthur, and I were left.

Arthur looked at Gwaine like he wanted to tell him that he should be training but for some reason the King didn't. Probably because Gwaine wouldn't have listened anyways as he was much too busy telling Mordred and me all about how Percy had disarmed one of the younger knights earlier on. Apparently the blade was sent flying in such a way that it got stuck in the fence and it had taken the combined effort of Percy and Leon to pull it free of the fence. A real feat as the knights were just using blunt training swords.

"Oh man! You guys really missed it! It was amazing!" Gwaine was saying, for a swordsman the man made a great story teller. "I mean, we all _know_ the Percy's the strongest but really! A blunt sword, half way through the fence too no less and he wasn't even trying!"

Back with the other knights Percy was turning bright red, blushing all the way to his ears as a few of the other knights even teased him. Leon was trying to get everyone's attention back on their drills with mixed results. From the look of things though, Leon was wasn't trying as hard as he could and the smile he wore was really undermining his own threats.

Mordred was laughing, listening both to Gwaine's story and Leon's intinstruction. Even when he had free time it seemed Mordred would have considered Melee practice a fun pastime with the attention he gave the drilling knights. I wasn't the only one to notice either, Arthur was shaking his head at Mordred. Looking at me Arthur rolled his eyes nodding to his young knight, we shared a smile at Mordred's expense behind his back. As Gwaine started up another story about two knights I only knew in passing Arthur caught my eye nodded his head towards the armory. With a sigh I straighten up and followed my King.

Behind me I heard the half second pause in Gwaine's story as he noticed us leaving. Mordred was much more obvious.

' _Merlin?_ ' His voice sounded in my head, not quiet worried but questioning, curious.

' _No idea what he wants, but I'm sure you'll drag it out of me later._ ' I thought back, ' _I'll be with Arthur, don't worry._ '

Somehow I just _knew_ Mordred was rolling his eyes, ' _If anything you being with Arthur gives me more reason to worry not less. He might have gotten it in his head that just the two of you should go on some question to some mysterious something or other for answers. It wouldn't be a first._ '

Coughing to hide my laugh I entered the armory after Arthur. ' _You make a good point, if Arthur wants to go on a quest I'll make sure we take Gwaine or Percy how's that?_ '

' _Take Leon, then I'll know there's at least one brain among the three of you._ '

* * *

 ** _If you liked this_** ** _you can check_** _SolarMaga_ ** _on_** ** _archive of our own._**

 ** _Thank you to all you followers and people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviewers and_** The Shadow thats Hidden _**for** **reminding** **me that I can't leave you poor sods waiting forever. Honestly this was supposed to be up months ago but I've been in and out of town because family stuff since like** **August** **x.x and then Holidays happen and those take up** so **much time and energy don't they?**_

 ** _Anyways that all for now, favorite, comment, review, follow, I don't know but if you liked it let me know because I survive off of attention._**


	20. Conversions in Armories

**_Our last update of 2017! I started posting this Jan 3 and oh boy have we come a long way!_**

* * *

I closed the armory door after myself, leaning casually as I could on my less burnt side and waited. Arthur wanted to talk about something though I had very little idea what I could guess though; the fire came to mind easily. There was also the small matter of poison in Arthur's drink as well. The new laws that he was working on. I supposed he could even want to talk about my injuries as well though that seemed the least likely.

Whatever it was I knew Arthur would get around to it sooner rather than later, he was never the most patient man and I just didn't feel like trying to drag it out of him before the King was good and ready. No matter what I'd been telling Mordred and the knights my back hurt, my lungs still burned though only dully, my whole left side though was just a mess of pain. It hurt so much I'd even forgone my usual jacket, even it's slight weight irritated my burns. I'd even been tempted to ditch my shirt but that would just be improper.

Beginning to daydream about returning to Mordred's chambers and removing the irritating shirt I jumped slightly when Arthur's voice finally broke the silence of the Armory.

"There's a traitor in our midst." Arthur's voice was cool and controlled, he spoke as if stating the great hall held so many tables.

Even if the King seemed calm I knew Arthur better than that though. He was worried about something. Glancing at his hands I saw his elbows resting on his knees, his fingers hanging and laced together so tightly his knuckles were going white.

At last Arthur got to the point; "Until he or she is found you're not to walk around the castle alone."

Surprised I looked at my King, " _Why_?"I asked, racking my brain I tried to come up with reason for Arthur's decision, the only reason I could think of was my injury.

"Because I am your King!" Arthur replied angrily, I could see the tension as he flexed his laced together hands. "You are my servant and you shall do as commanded."

Shrugging off the wall I stared down at Arthur where he sat on one of the Armory's many benches. "Very. Well. My. King." I hissed out each word. There was a reason for Arthur's new command, probably misplaced worry for my safety. It just pissed me off. Bitterly I turned fully intending to leave when Arthur's voice stopped me.

"Merlin _please_ ," he sighed sounding suddenly tired. "I need you to listen to me on this, please Merlin, just _listen_ to me."

Turning back I crossed my arms, then immediately uncrossed them as it irritated my burns. "Explain."

Groaning Arthur ran his hands through his hair. "I can't,"

"Try."

Another groan, this one even more dramatic than the first. One hand still in his hair Arthur looked at me. He sighed scrubbed his face with both hands and then waved to the seat across from him.

Pouting I sat. I also would have crossed my arms again but that would be a horrible and painful idea so I settled for crossing one knee over the other instead and looking very impatient. Arthur just rolled his eyes at me and tried not to smile.

"It's been proposed that the poison was added before the fire, that is wasn't supposed to be as a distraction, that the fire was just an accident." Arthur began not looking directly at me. "Many of the council then began debating that if that _were_ the case who could have done so. Who had access to my horse, tack, food. . . ." purposefully Arthur trailed off.

Pieces fell into place. "And my name came up."

With an exhausted sigh Arthur nodded. Suddenly, furiously, Arthur slammed one fist against the bench he sat upon. "How can they even think _ **you**_ of all people might be involved? It's ridiculous! I've told them as much too but. . ." Arthur was scowling and snarling now. Whatever the council members had been saying had royally pissed Arthur off.

' _Mordred, come here,_ ' I called silently as I nodded my understanding and stood up.

Mordred didn't answer, he didn't have to though I knew he'd do as I asked of him without question. The boy probably had entirely too much faith in me.

"Where are you going?" Arthur demanded sounding very perplex and I opened the Armory door.

"Waving for Mordred to come," I answered calmly. "If they actually think I'm trying to kill you we shouldn't be alone anymore."

Outside Mordred had already parted company with the other knights, somehow he must have gotten dragged into training, that or he'd just decided to join the knights himself, it was Mordred, he seemed to actually enjoy training.

Hold the door open with one hand I turned back to Arthur, he looking thoroughly confused.

"I thought you didn't trust Mordred," He said obviously trying very hard to figure out what he'd missed.

Nodding I scolded myself, because of course that would be a red flag, I should have gone for Gwaine, or Leon! Leon would have been the best choice. Instead I shrugged, "He's growing on me." I offered even though we both knew it was weak. What could I say though? We both have magic, he has a crush on me, and I might even- ** _nope_**. I shut that trail of thinking right down.

Lucky Mordred popped his head it before Arthur could question me any further.

After a brief explanation Mordred was fuming.

The young knight then went on a very long, very aggressive rant detailing all of my shining qualities and verbally tore down each member of the council. He knew a surprising amount of court gossip. I suspected Gwaine but quite a few knights could be rather gossipy after training. The whole time I silently tried to plead with Mordred, asking - _almost begging him_ \- to calm down and shut up. Arthur on the other hand agreed with almost every point Mordred made. They eventually decided that the whole council was full of useless idiots and that while I could do better as a servant I was a true and brave man even if I had a habit of stupidly charging into places I shouldn't. It was embarrassing.

"It can't just be me all the time." Mordred was saying, we'd finally gotten off the topic and moved onto important things. Like how to keep my good name clear.

"Yes I figured as much as well," Arthur nodded, both him and Mordred pacing the Armory as I sat and watched. "My first thought was Gwaine but no, the council hates him, they'd say the two of them were working together."

"Percy, maybe Leon?" Mordred suggested. "The council loves them, even if Percy is common born."

Arthur snapped excitedly, "Perfect! Plus Leon's been a knight since before I was King, if _he_ doesn't see Merlin plotting against me they'll _have_ to believe him!"

Sitting back I almost crossed my arms again before I remembered that it was a bad idea. I was thoroughly enjoying being talked about as if I wasn't there.

"Each of us should switch everyday, that way no one misses too much training," Mordred said, "Meet Merlin inside of Gaius' chambers, don't let him leave our sight again until he's back in Gaius' chambers."

Trying not to pout like a child I spoke up, "He is right here!"

Arthur just waved me off.

Annoyed I crossed my arms over my chest before hissing in pain and uncrossing them. By the time the three of us finally left the Armory the knight's had finished training. It was also agreed the Leon, Percy, Mordred, and another knight; Sir Gaheris, a younger handsome knight who gave Gwaine a run for his money when it came to great hair.

Grumbling I lead the way back to Mordred's chamber, not exactly keen to be passed of to Gaius so he could act like a mother hen over me. The only good thing would be my freedom from cleaning up after Arthur. A depressing thought as I was only free because the council thought I was going to try killing Arthur. Apparently I'd have to find the traitor myself, and soon, all while under the watchful eye of three different knights.

Just bloody prefect.

* * *

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 _ **Thank you to all of you who follow and the people who added this to favorites. Thanks again to my reviewers and oh boy were there a lot of you this time!** Sapphire's Ink **(** _ Glad you enjoyed :D _ **),** TheTrueTree **(**_ Hope this lived up to your expectations :3 _ **),** Mersan123 **(**_ Alway love to see you leaving comments! And yes Dear Percy I always have fun with him, to me he has a lot of potential to work with. _ **)** **and** dizzydaisy37 **(**_ _**) You guys, thank you all so much! I'm so glad to be sharing this piece of fanfiction with you and I'm so glad to know you're all enjoying read it as much as I am writing it. Next chapter, I'm thinking we're due for some more smut, you guys?**_

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